Board index › Coping in life › The Haven

Don't want my birthday celebrated

Page 1 of 2 [ 25 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

17 Jun 2019, 4:04 pm

I don't want my birthday celebrated this year. I don't have any successes to show for this year so there is nothing to celebrate for. I am going to shout down my mother if she tries to hold a celebration for me at my older brother's business like she did last year.



PoseyBuster88
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 17 Mar 2019
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 272

17 Jun 2019, 4:23 pm

That is totally your prerogative, but I think for NTs it is a way to show that they are glad you are in their lives, not about recognizing achievements from that year. So she will likely have a hard time not doing anything. It would probably feel like she was neglecting you, even if logically she knows it's what you want. Maybe let her make you a special dinner at home? But tell her you don't want a gathering?

Again, totally your choice. But she will probably have a difficult time understanding and completely foregoing any recognition of your birthday.

Another option might be to take yourself on a trip/retreat that day, so you aren't available for celebrations.


_________________
~AQ 32; not formally diagnosed.~


Sarahsmith
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,926
Location: Canada

17 Jun 2019, 5:57 pm

You shouldnt yell at your mom. She is just trying to do something nice for you. Like the above poster said just hide away somwhere that day. Can you stay at a hotel? That might be a nice retreat. I dont know why you view yourself in such a way. I have no accomplishments other than just basic stuff like being able to do my own laundry, make food etc. You can view your life as if nothing is a miracle or you can view your life as if everything is a miracle. Even little accomplishments like being able to take care of yourself is something to be proud of.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

17 Jun 2019, 6:31 pm

Sarahsmith wrote:
You shouldnt yell at your mom. She is just trying to do something nice for you. Like the above poster said just hide away somwhere that day. Can you stay at a hotel? That might be a nice retreat. I dont know why you view yourself in such a way. I have no accomplishments other than just basic stuff like being able to do my own laundry, make food etc. You can view your life as if nothing is a miracle or you can view your life as if everything is a miracle. Even little accomplishments like being able to take care of yourself is something to be proud of.


She's been attacking me verbally lately so there is a chance she won't even bother this time around but even if she does, I don't want her to do anything for me.

I've been bullied, mocked, rejected, disregarded, and written off all of my life so that's why I feel despondent all the time. I also hate how my detractors won't leave me alone. One of them (Luhluhluh) has even told me to give up on wanting a girlfriend.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

17 Jun 2019, 6:33 pm

Happy Birthday, Marknis!
Spend the day as you like.

((Hugs))


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

17 Jun 2019, 6:34 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Happy Birthday, Marknis!
Spend the day as you like.

((Hugs))


It hasn't happened yet (August 5th).



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

17 Jun 2019, 6:39 pm

Marknis wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Happy Birthday, Marknis!
Spend the day as you like.

((Hugs))


It hasn't happened yet (August 5th).


Apologies -- but still, spend the day how you want. My birthday is this week and I'm doing just that. I plan my birthdays to be special in whatever way I like, with the people I choose (or alone, if desired).


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 15,013
Location: .

17 Jun 2019, 6:41 pm

Ask your mum for a quiet birthday.
My last biirthday was one of the best days in my life. It was cloudy and we (Mum, brother, his wife and myself) went to a seaside beach with coastal cliff walks. Hardly any people there due to the weather. It was absolute bliss. We had food in an almost empty restauraunt. The shops were empty... The coastal path was bliss to explore. Was just right for me. Even the beach only had a few people on it. Bliss.
So, so much better for me then a surprize party. I am not keen on parties.


_________________
Verifying you are human. This may take a few seconds...


SaveFerris
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,762
Location: UK

17 Jun 2019, 6:42 pm

Crappy Birthday for the 5th dude :lol:


_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard


TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,553

17 Jun 2019, 6:45 pm

My birthday is on the 20th. My family doesn’t celebrate birthdays, so I’m going to think of something to do on my own.


_________________
“The darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
— from Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot


Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 15,013
Location: .

17 Jun 2019, 6:46 pm

Buy a train?


_________________
Verifying you are human. This may take a few seconds...


TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,553

17 Jun 2019, 6:48 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Buy a train?


Sadly, I’m not especially interested in trains.


_________________
“The darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
— from Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot


Sarahsmith
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,926
Location: Canada

17 Jun 2019, 6:57 pm

Marknis wrote:
Sarahsmith wrote:
You shouldnt yell at your mom. She is just trying to do something nice for you. Like the above poster said just hide away somwhere that day. Can you stay at a hotel? That might be a nice retreat. I dont know why you view yourself in such a way. I have no accomplishments other than just basic stuff like being able to do my own laundry, make food etc. You can view your life as if nothing is a miracle or you can view your life as if everything is a miracle. Even little accomplishments like being able to take care of yourself is something to be proud of.


She's been attacking me verbally lately so there is a chance she won't even bother this time around but even if she does, I don't want her to do anything for me.

I've been bullied, mocked, rejected, disregarded, and written off all of my life so that's why I feel despondent all the time. I also hate how my detractors won't leave me alone. One of them (Luhluhluh) has even told me to give up on wanting a girlfriend.


Surely there must be people that are nice to you though.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

17 Jun 2019, 7:15 pm

Sarahsmith wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Sarahsmith wrote:
You shouldnt yell at your mom. She is just trying to do something nice for you. Like the above poster said just hide away somwhere that day. Can you stay at a hotel? That might be a nice retreat. I dont know why you view yourself in such a way. I have no accomplishments other than just basic stuff like being able to do my own laundry, make food etc. You can view your life as if nothing is a miracle or you can view your life as if everything is a miracle. Even little accomplishments like being able to take care of yourself is something to be proud of.


She's been attacking me verbally lately so there is a chance she won't even bother this time around but even if she does, I don't want her to do anything for me.

I've been bullied, mocked, rejected, disregarded, and written off all of my life so that's why I feel despondent all the time. I also hate how my detractors won't leave me alone. One of them (Luhluhluh) has even told me to give up on wanting a girlfriend.


Surely there must be people that are nice to you though.


I am possibly meeting someone I haven't seen since high school tomorrow. I just fear things will end up like they went with my last ex-friend.



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,553

17 Jun 2019, 7:21 pm

Marknis wrote:
Sarahsmith wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Sarahsmith wrote:
You shouldnt yell at your mom. She is just trying to do something nice for you. Like the above poster said just hide away somwhere that day. Can you stay at a hotel? That might be a nice retreat. I dont know why you view yourself in such a way. I have no accomplishments other than just basic stuff like being able to do my own laundry, make food etc. You can view your life as if nothing is a miracle or you can view your life as if everything is a miracle. Even little accomplishments like being able to take care of yourself is something to be proud of.


She's been attacking me verbally lately so there is a chance she won't even bother this time around but even if she does, I don't want her to do anything for me.

I've been bullied, mocked, rejected, disregarded, and written off all of my life so that's why I feel despondent all the time. I also hate how my detractors won't leave me alone. One of them (Luhluhluh) has even told me to give up on wanting a girlfriend.


Surely there must be people that are nice to you though.


I am possibly meeting someone I haven't seen since high school tomorrow. I just fear things will end up like they went with my last ex-friend.


It’s always wise to expect the worst at any given moment lest any ray of sunlight might find its way in.


_________________
“The darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
— from Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot


Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 15,013
Location: .

17 Jun 2019, 7:32 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Buy a train?


Sadly, I’m not especially interested in trains.


Umm. Maybe you have not found the right type of train yet?


_________________
Verifying you are human. This may take a few seconds...