I need to update my resumé D:

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I just can't convince myself I ever did anything else worth writing about. I'm only awake right now to let my laptop update, just home alone medicating with no one to talk to. I'm too technical for everyone anyway. I should have worked on myself enough to keep up with people but the fact is that no one wants me around. My family coerces me to spend so much energy working that I'm a total zombie to everyone else.

I have to be up in 9 hours for a meeting or I'd actually hang out with all of you.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I guess my thread is empty because people automatically think it's easy being an overachiever.

My social life borders on nonexistence. One meal a day feels pretty much normal. Everything I enjoy is on the back burner. I'll be out of work by September unless I get enough done that my contract turns full time, or I find work in a subsidiary or another team. My resumé looks great when I get it done, but the process isn't healthy.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I wish I were an overachiever----no matter how hard it is. I fit the "underachiever" tag, actually.

You will be okay....you have lots to fall back on.

Lots to fall back on but no wherewithal to tell people that I'm in metaphysical free fall. I'm living on coffee again today, waiting for my paycheck before I'm comfortable spending anything despite saving $20,000. Sure, I can afford to eat but I haven't had time or energy to cook since I started my internship last year. Eating would also be fiscally irresponsible right now.

This is what's wrecking my life expectancy. Supposedly this disability of mine means I should constantly excel at complex tasks of all kinds. Because I'm some kind of savant syndrome basket case, people implicitly expect more from me & act like I worked less - like it was all second nature. Being "smart" is completely relative & involves lots of unspoken demands. My energy is always spent on work, the world seems to think that's all it's for. It's killing me to think about how much more I could do with my friends if I weren't seen as this man/machine hybrid.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I'm continually tweaked out on cheap-ish drip coffee (dark roast ) and I'm going to start my resumé edits today from work using my little laptop.

I need a hug but I'm too shy. It's not in the cards today.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

At least I got the accursed thing drafted. I would much rather be drafting something structural than a document. I defy documentation by nature.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Are you updating a job resume?

Yeah & I'm still in the middle of it. An HR manager told me to condense my corporate experience into bullet points. I think I'm going to take a nap.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I got a lot of edits done today with a work friend, but I have to wait at least ten days to learn from my bosses whatever the hell they plan on doing with me.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

If they expect too much from you then it really is taking advantage... Put it this way. How many average people can do what you do? How many average people will bother to put in the hours you do to get things done?
If you are good at your job and work as hard as you say, I bet there will be a long list of employers who would like to employ you... Though from the start you will need to make it clear that you are a human being and not a machine.