Overwhelmed and Underappreciated

Post Reply New Topic

I don't know if being on the autistic spectrum amplifies feeling like a total failure in life sometimes but no matter how hard I try I feel it's not enough. The effort I put in to taking care of myself enough so I can be calm enough to be out in society is so overwhelming. I crave social interaction but am too anxious and too scared that I will make someone uneasy and they won't want to interact with me anymore. Also I usually live alone but the home owner my dad is visiting. As hard as I try, he commented how nice the lawn once looked and said it was full of moss and the edges are not straight. He seemed very disappointed. Those comments make me feel like such a failure at living an independent life! I'm taking vacation to spend time with family so I am way out of routine. That's probably why I hurt right now. I'm hurting but at least I know someone will see this message which makes me feel better.

It is hard not to see ourselves as a failure when we compare ourselves to others. Remember that someone else out there at the same time is better off and someone else is worse off. Success is along a continuum line with varying degrees of it. Some people can't live independently at all (me) so don't be too hard on yourself for living on your own and your lawn not being perfect. It can get to you if all you ever hear is complaints without the balance of compliments in your life.

Just make sure when compliments do come your way that depression doesn't cause you to negate or discard them. Acknowledging the positives, negatives AND neutrals in your life helps prevent your life from being an endless stream of negatives. Neutrals are that in your life that doesn't really have a good or bad attached to them and prevents you from seeing in black(negative) or white(positive).

Hope your vacation with your family goes well and you are able to find some peace and happiness.

Thank you, I really appreciate your kind response. Great advice!