How to I get over with little worries?
Hi.
First off I have some what a person that helps me with advanced life skills (cooking, bugjeting, etc.) Mon - Fri.
Recently I had a fear problem of making conflicts with people by mistake (the usual mistake that normal people don't worry about.)
So anyway, she's a really nice person and I get along with her very well. On Friday I had to work on my essay writting skills so I can get ready for college. It always overwhelms me because It's all the formal writting and I never usually write that way. I kept saying that I was sorry, just in cause if I did snap by mistake. And she would always be telling me not to worry and stuff.
I felt so embarrest for getting all fusterated over it so I slip up and say "I'm sorry for acting so Austistic!"
And for the first time to me, she said "I don't like you using that word." I was Shocked and I said "I'm sorry did I offend you? I didn't mean to slip up", then she says "that's okay, you were just expressing your feelings. Everybody slips up once in a while."
So she forgot about it in minutes, I worried about it all day. Then I realized that the one I harmed wasn't her, it was me. Both the worrying and the insult. I later discussed it with her and she barely remembered it at all. So I told her all this and she told me that I got the nail on the head.
So I said to myself that I wouldn't worry over little things again. Then I felt scared, because I don't know how to move on quickly. Do you guys know how I could learn how to get over little things quicker?
_Eric
_________________
Thank You and have a nice day,
_Eric
hmm...so saying the word 'autistic' is now an insult?
Is this person who helps you autistic? otherwise what could she have against the word, it is like saying autism is a bad thing to be covered up and ashamed of?
I used to worry about upsetting people and was constantly saying sorry whether something was my fault or not. This makes you seem weak and a target for everyone to use an abuse.
Don't apologise for who/what you are.
Maybe in future just state 'I am a bit stressed today and this may show in my behaviour' and leave it at that, no apologising but informing of the reason why you are behaving that way to avoid misunderstandings.
_________________
Any implied social connection is an artifact of the distance between my computer and yours.
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
Sedaka
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,597
Location: In the recesses of my mind
i still have these moments... they havent gone away but you know what? you start arriving at that very conclusion you made and discussed with your friend... now that you are aware of this... every time this kind of situation comes up, you'll arrive at that conclusion THAT much faster and with even more time and instances making you think along these lines... the thought pattern will become reflexive... and somewhere along these lines, you just become comfortable with the thought and actually start to believe your words and just accept how you are and work with it.
thjat's all anyone can do... work with it!
and dont be so hard on yourself! (yes it's hard!)
good luck getting ready for college and such!
_________________
Neuroscience PhD student
got free science papers?
www.pubmed.gov
www.sciencedirect.com
http://highwire.stanford.edu/lists/freeart.dtl
Sedaka
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,597
Location: In the recesses of my mind
Is this person who helps you autistic? otherwise what could she have against the word, it is like saying autism is a bad thing to be covered up and ashamed of?
no it's not insulting... but she recognized that he was using it in a derogatory way towards himself... like i always refer to myself as a dumbass or worse...
she was just encouraging him not to use that word in that manner... the fact that she didnt remember his outburst shows how little negative emphasis she puts on the word
_________________
Neuroscience PhD student
got free science papers?
www.pubmed.gov
www.sciencedirect.com
http://highwire.stanford.edu/lists/freeart.dtl
Is this person who helps you autistic? otherwise what could she have against the word, it is like saying autism is a bad thing to be covered up and ashamed of?
no it's not insulting... but she recognized that he was using it in a derogatory way towards himself... like i always refer to myself as a dumbass or worse...
she was just encouraging him not to use that word in that manner... the fact that she didnt remember his outburst shows how little negative emphasis she puts on the word
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. But I wanted to post this thread just to make sure.
This is a great place to go if I ever get confussed about something.
Thank you,
_Eric
_________________
Thank You and have a nice day,
_Eric
Sedaka
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,597
Location: In the recesses of my mind
Is this person who helps you autistic? otherwise what could she have against the word, it is like saying autism is a bad thing to be covered up and ashamed of?
no it's not insulting... but she recognized that he was using it in a derogatory way towards himself... like i always refer to myself as a dumbass or worse...
she was just encouraging him not to use that word in that manner... the fact that she didnt remember his outburst shows how little negative emphasis she puts on the word
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. But I wanted to post this thread just to make sure.
This is a great place to go if I ever get confussed about something.
Thank you,
_Eric
you're welcome1
it's always easier to read about something and interpret vs being in that situation and having to know what to do RIGHT THEN!
_________________
Neuroscience PhD student
got free science papers?
www.pubmed.gov
www.sciencedirect.com
http://highwire.stanford.edu/lists/freeart.dtl
Dave
