Boyfriend extremely drunk tonight

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Normally I don't mind when my boyfriend is drunk, as he can be super chilled and funny. But tonight he seemed to have drank so much that his personality had completely changed into a stranger and it was rather unpleasant for me. I have learnt to ignore it now, but it's not me I'm worrying about, it's the new neighbours upstairs. He's been making a lot of noise tonight while drunk, like banging on things for no reason and shutting doors noisily and having loud music on, and these new neighbours have a little baby.

We haven't even met the new neighbours yet but already they probably think we're those troubled sort of neighbours or something. Usually we're quiet and he doesn't normally get this drunk to the point where he becomes selfish and ignorant of other people. I kept telling him to stop banging things but he just kept saying that he hates people. Well, he was so drunk that he couldn't think rationally at all, he was like a person with Alzheimer's who didn't know what he was doing or even saying. Just a load of slurring and babbling.

I just feel embarrassed for the new neighbours. I was hoping they'd come downstairs and complain about the noise, because they have every right to. Hopefully they'll report us to the landlords. I hope they do. That'll teach him for getting so stupidly drunk.

Uhh... Why does he drink?

Honestly, I tend to tap out early myself... The worst I tend to be is talking louder than normal when I'm a bit past tipsy.

If this isn't the first time, did you ask him, does he enjoy being heavily intoxicated? I personally don't like it, I'm hot, head feels weird, lights too bright, sounds too loud, and the inevitable heartburn.

Feel for you. Drunks aren't great.

Oh, you shouldn't feel bad for the neighbors upstairs, they're the ones walking on top of your head.

not a thing we can do to change other's behavior, it is up to him to change himself. He might teach himself his own lessons in time.
Mean time practice self care.
If his drinking is causing problems for you, though, you might want to check in with al-anon for families with somebody with alcohol problems. If you have a therapist talk to them about co-dependent behavior.
I learned a lot by joining a group and reading the material in print. I got therapy that helped me see how the alcoholism in my family from childhood carried over to my adult life. I needed to learn new ways to live. I simply could not spot that on my own. I had to have an outsider point this out to me and help me sort it in my own mind and emotions.
There are cycles and patterns around alcoholism and other substance abuse, and we can break free of those and live better lives once we are able to recognize them. This doesn't mean you have to break up with him however.
( although it could happen too) .
Sending best wishes.

It's not normally a problem between us. But last night was just bad.

If you don’t tell him your feelings about this, he just might do this more and more.

Getting stinky drunk can become a bad habit......

It already is a habit. As I've pointed out twice in this thread, it doesn't generally cause problems between us.

I've been with him 8 years, I know him inside and out.

Yes, I am aware you mentioned it twice previously ----that he gets drunk, but that he usually is mellow and all that in his drunks.

What I meant.....is he might get into the habit of becoming nastily drunk like he did last night. You want to try to prevent that.

Do you know why he got more drunk last night?

What prompted him to drink more and be so aggressive? Was he having a bad day to begin with? Is something wrong at work? Is there stuff he wants to talk about, but thought he couldn't?

I think I'd start by addressing what was different -- why did he drink more, why was he feeling so angry.

Go from there.

Maybe he was just bored and got carried away.

Maybe there was something really bothering him.

It doesn't need to be an argument or an attack. I'd see what's going on, and why last night was different.

This is most probably the reason. He gets carried away sometimes. Also we had a leak from the apartment upstairs so he probably started drinking quicker to deal with the stress of it. Also he probably didn't have anything to eat for dinner (due to being stressed about the leak) so when he drinks on an empty stomach he tends to get drunk quicker.

Sometimes he doesn't fancy any drink at all, or just has one or two and stops there. He wasn't aggressive towards me or anything but he still expresses some mildly aggressive behaviours with silly behaviour mixed with it.

He did apologise in the morning. I didn't get angry or anything because there's no point. At least he admits to his mistakes and doesn't take it out on me or anything.

I love him and I'm able to put up with his drinking habits as usually it doesn't cause a problem. He's been extremely drunk like this before but only very rarely. Otherwise he's quite mellowed when he's had a few.

I get why you're worried, this behavior seems to be abnormal. If he's gonna do something like that in public the excuse he's drunk won't work on cops. He could get in trouble. Adults are responsible for what they do while inebriated and their inebriated state.

I hope he sees a psychologist, take care of this hatred of people and gulping down unsafe amounts before it gets out of control.

If it happens again and gets out of hand, if you both have insurance call the ambulance.

He isnt just ... a guy who "gets drunk".

He is problem drinker.

Since you love him very much, try to convince him to attend AA meetings,
but only IMO if he continues this level of getting himself drunk.

It is not advisable giving such recommendation. This will vary by place and insurance regulations. On my insurance in the states it would have to be classified in the insurance claim as a medical necessity, such need that cannot be fulfilled by other means of transportation. Being drunk does not establish a medical necessity. As ambulances are private, such a stunt would cost several thousand dollars.

What's it like in UK?

I'm not sure the shame of being seen getting dragged out of the house by medical professionals is exactly what they're going for here.

I've never called an ambulance before but I know emergency services are free and are funded by the government and the NHS.

But anyway, it's not as drastic as having to call an ambulance. I just felt embarrassed for the neighbours, that's all.

Had you posted about him having diabetes or am I thinking of someone else? If so, he really should be more careful about his drinking because of how it may effect his blood sugar.

But, I think the main thing here is how it's making you feel.

I don’t see this as a moral thing. I’m not a teetotaler because I believe drinking is necessarily “always wrong.” I know many people who drink beer and have a couple of drinks…..and they do okay.

I see this more as a health issue. And drinking affects people in the wrong way sometimes. Gets them into trouble. Makes them do stupid things. Affects people around them. And you can become psychologically dependent upon alcohol.

Alcoholism is no joke.