Is this really how it is out there?

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Neanderthals lasted awhile, but let's keep in mind that they ultimately went extinct because their selfish instincts didn't overtake their group instincts. I mean, they couldn't sew clothes or make atl-atls for goodnessakes! That was a big disadvantage after the Toba super-eruption disaster thing when the Africans overran the Earth, the Cavemen went bye bye.
But, hey, yeah people suck Graelwyn. That's a given. In highschool I wore a necklace with a pendant of a little alien's face because I thought that I must be an alien was the explanation for my radical non-attachment to society.

i dont like people in general, not even family, i come and go from places never finding "my place" i read the online news, at times i have become obsessive and read and read all day long for weeks at a time . My doctor said its a form of self harm in the sense that it upsets me greatly , but i know that and still do it and use all the strange stories to justify my withdrawal from seeing or interacting with people. Hubby gets really angry because i always point out the stories that are bizzare and random , like the lady that was attacked by an orqangutang. i doubt she woke up with that fear but it still happened , i dont know whats going to happen but i know its possible that its going to be horrible , its not about things happening to me , its about seeing things i know i cannot cope with , violence mainly and car accidents and people arguing in a way that seems like the argument is about to turn into a physical fight. I hate it , other people go about there daily lives never worrying about seeing nasty stuff , i wish i was like that.

natty, I know what you mean. I have those kind of thoughts too. I just wish I could put my mind at ease. Even if it is just for an hour. I don't have any advise for how to help. I am just saying I know whata problem these kind of thought are.

Natty, hey come'on, if you're lucky you'll get to see something nasty happen to someone you know nothing about, and you'll be able, at that point, to enjoy it, much like a good viewing of "A Clockwork Orange." I got to see a body getting covered up by the cops before the paramedics arrived once. It was a motorcycle accident. It didn't look good. But it was something. The morbid is EVERYWHERE- much like Art- don't be scared of it, it ubiquitous in fact and you may as well just accept that we're part of a large ecosystem and nasty stuff happens all the time. That's life.
Even now that I'm considered a kind of socialite, most of my fellow "socializers" don't realize I that I feel NOTHING for them, excepting a few women. It used to make me really depressed till I found out about AS and stuff. I honestly don't feel anything for anyone right now, not even my family, OK except my older brother's dog Zoey, she's sooo cute, oh, and, most importantly, except my ex, who's up in Canada anyhow and so far away, though I'd love to touch her and see her amazing new tatts...