Why do we impose pressure on other people ?

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chris1989
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01 Jan 2023, 10:44 am

The thing is with me, none of my family have been pressuring me to do certain things in life except I remember my dad telling me during and after college and uni to get a job and got me some driving lessons. In my last year of college, I think it took some toll on me as I had 3 or 4 panic attacks and after being given medication and some therapy at the time and it seemed to have kept my anxiety under control after that.

I now seem to feel because I've seen other people other people like my sister in the same age groups as me (mid 20s to early 30s) maturing and settling down, some getting married, having their own first home (like my sister) and having their first child (like my sister), I look at all that going on and feel as though time is passing me by and there feels to me like there is this need to catch up with them and voices in my head telling ''You should have had your first child by your mid or late 20s and you should be settled down by now with someone and married in your early 30s.'', even though as I've said before I'm not in a relationship with someone to make those decisions with. It then leaves me with feelings of disappointment because things still haven't happened to me yet when they have already happened for other people at the ''right time'' and the ''right age''.

But I do also feel that people older than 30 or 35 are treated unfairly by telling them ''You are leaving things too late and shame on you for still not having a partner to settle down with yet and not having a child yet.''



Nades
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01 Jan 2023, 11:55 am

People might put pressure on others to pick up the pace if they're lagging behind peers with no reasonable explanation or lagging so badly they'll fail to achieve a particular goal.

A guy in work is being put under pressure to drive for example. He's 23 but has to be driven in and from work by his mother or other workers. He has no reason not to learn to drive so people are pressuring him now and he's just passed his theory test.

Kids is another divisive topic. People who want kids always need to be aware that it comes with a time limit for both men and women but especially women. Eventually women will struggle to conceive and for both men and women, the average age for kids is about 30 so the pool of potential partners who want to start a family will really start dwindling past 30 as many already settled down with their own families.

Even if a 35 year old really wants kids, his/her peers might say "No, I already have my own, sorry". When people get older who are known to desire kids, people will start poking and prodding them that but more reminding them that time is running thin. If their concerns are grounded in reality, then they're trying to help.