Why am I having panic attacks about going to work?

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Note: This is the haven so please try to avoid ridiculing me even if this may sound trivial to you.

It's been a nice Easter break and now it's work again tomorrow, and I keep feeling really anxious. I don't dislike the job, but I'm just feeling panicky at the thought of having to get back to routine again, getting up at a certain time, eating lunch at a certain time, etc. These last four days have been so relaxing, I still feel like I'm in holiday mode and can't be bothered to get organised for work. Maybe it's depression as well.

Sometimes I just can't be bothered any more. I don't mean that in a lazy way, just an executive functioning issues way. I hate routine.

I get like this a lot and believe it has to do with how difficult I find it to stay focused on something that's unrewarding.

It's like the cost isn't noticed when it's being done every day but once you're reminded of what it's like to not have that burden the brain freaks out once it knows the burden is about to return.

Anxiety doesn't really make a lot of sense sometimes. It's the nature of the illness I think.

I know everyone feels like this after time off or even a weekend (after all, Mondays are the most hated day of the week). But sometimes I feel it more intensely. When I was a child sometimes I got the "Sunday night blues" so bad that I'd throw tantrums more easily and become more challenging than usual. Obviously this didn't happen every Sunday but when it did happen it usually occured on a Sunday with school the next day.
Conversely, I was more excited and over the moon on a Friday night, and I even went through a phase of having something called "celebration time" in my room (usually inviting a friend, cousin and/or sibling to join) because I was just so overwhelmingly happy that it was Friday.

Recently I broke my arm and that meant I had six weeks off work. After the first three weeks which were pain-filled, I began to enjoy the rest I was getting. I watched a lot of tv series and movies. My housemate (who's autistic) liked having me around.

When I got the clearance to go back to work, I didn't want it! I wanted an extra week or two. But nope, I had to get used to my work routine again. And I definitely need the money. At least I had a gentle introduction back to work, with Easter and all. But after this week it'll be back to the old grind. I have realised I could all too easily live a life without having to go to work.

Getting back into work after a more-than-a-few-days rest is always tough. It feels like I always have to re-acclimate to long shifts, like whereas before vacation an 8 hour shift was pretty easy, I have to rebuild-up the stamina for it after coming back from a vacay.

There's nothing wrong with the way you are feeling.

I think you sound really normal Joe, many people have those feelings about the first or last day of the working week. I certainly do, even working for myself at home.

Thanks people.

But I think part of the reason I'm feeling this way is because I'm not feeling well.

I know what you mean. Being ill messes with your mind. I had covid recently and it's totally screwed up my brain

I hope you feel better soon xoxo

Yes, covid is a b***h.

I've got an ear infection. I didn't even know I had one until I saw a doctor today, as the only typical symptom of an ear infection I've been having is chronic vertigo. The other symptoms were more flu-like.

Gosh ear infections really mess your life up don't they. Your balance and even your appetite. I hope you get better soon.

Maybe unrelated.

I felt some of the things you are hitting when I hit burnout and was before covid. Balance effected etc is symptom I had of eitherburnout or breakdown. Memory loss but effecting memory of how to do things , e.g. how to walk (When it hit me bad) or how to do simple things..
anxiety overtime before work. Shutdowns in work etc. Could not physically walk so had to wait to be able to (20-30 minutes) each day before I could go ito work from the car... (When young going to school in the mornings I was the same. Fine on the way home. Did not know it was called anxiety).
But yes. Balance main symptom of burnout or breakdown (Not sure which as on list waiting to be assessed for autism before I am checked over for whatever happened to me otherwize).
So take it easy. Look after yourself.

Yes they sure do. At least I know what it is now and can put my mind at ease, as before I was asking Google what was wrong (same mistake I make every time I have an ailment), it kept telling me to call 999 immediately and that I was having a stroke or a heart attack.


*Sarcastic joke* No wonder the NHS is so overwhelmed, it's probably full of people being scared by Google into calling for the ambulance. *Sarcastic joke*

I hope you get well soon. Sunday night blues is very familiar to me as well. When i was a child i dreaded Sundays and the end of vacations/holidays. I was always on fight or flight mode. I still am to a degree.

It's all the people, I think.