I'm a complete failure at life

Post Reply New Topic

I'm in college part time wasting my mom's money.
I not only didn't remember to fill out the FAFSA but I have no idea how to get money if I don't qualify for grants
I have only ever been able to attend school part time, i just get too overwhelmed with too many subjects if i go full time, but to get money i'd probably have to go full time.
I don't have a diagnosis of ADD or Aspergers but i'm fairly unable to look after myself.

my apartment is a mess, i can't find a job, i can't organize my papers (mail and other important stuff)

I wish i could kill myself, but my life belongs to my mom because she's sunk way too much money into me

I'm obsessed with saving money, i hate wasting money

I feel like people are just going to tell me to suck it up because they can do all these things and why shouldnt I? yet they never tell me how they did it, how they got their masters degree, how they got away from their parents.

It seems like I'll only ever see these things from a distance


the money for school runs out in december. right now i'm planning on being homeless and robbing liquor stores.

ahhh man, c'mon now! You are going to school part time what are u studying? It sounds to me like you dont have any goals in life. Be realistic, what do you want to do, both short term and long term. Indeed, collage life is hard, but I think many of us are capible of doing what we want, its just that we may need to work extra hard, we may need to put considerable pressure on us to achieve things NT's can do with far less stress. How far along are ya in your studies? Full time collage is not that bad, SO LONG as you do nothing else, no job, just all energy into collage.

How far along are ya?
What do u want to be someday?
What are you studing?
Have you gotton input from your mom as far as the future, both distant and immediate?

just the fact that you are in collage tells me you want to do something, and not just drop out of society.

"the money for school runs out in december. right now i'm planning on being homeless and robbing liquor stores."

Let me ask you this, then: how is it you don't think you can plan for school or clean your apartment, but you can plan on how to survive being homeless and plan to rob a liquor store?

I won't tell you to suck it up without a suggestion. First things, first: clean your apartment. You'd be amazed at how much it makes a difference, not just in the immediate benefits, but as a means of affecting your mental state by taking control of your immediate environment. Think global, act local. One your apartment's done, you'll feel as if you did something productive. Then you can start to clear your mind. Organize your thoughts. What are your interests, strengths, weaknesses? Have you worked at all?

I suspect you may have the same problem I do: when I don't have the materials in front of me, I don't know what to do. That's why I prefer working for someone when I could be self-employed; the infrastructure is there. Without it, I'm clueless. But it's like art, try starting with a blank canvas or sheet of paper, and you'll paralyze yourself. But add a few lines, a few words, even if random, and the ideas start. You need to start with something. Find what you have, either material or connections, or contacts, or skills.

I wish you well, and want to see you get out of this rut. But I'll be real, too: if you can take the time to write this note (or even write again!), you can take the time to fill out a form for FAFSA, make a call for other assistance, etc. You gotta have the will, no one's going to coddle you, AS or not.

People tell me to suck it up all the time, because they dont understand. Why should they matter? Being homeless is also NOT a good resort to this, believe me I know. Think, what else can I do to make my life better? Right now Im going over this question carefully and fully, and things are starting to work for once. Just gotta give it some time You dont have to keep on goin like you are, having to "suck it in" all the time, believe me when I say that too. Right now it might sound a little far fetched but its true.

There is grant money and other financial aid available if you take at least 6 hours per semester at most colleges. And don't forget the system you're trying to operate in was designed for a different brain setup. Most of the people who succeed have typical brains - we don't. I got my five-semester associate's degree in seven semesters because I couldn't carry a full load. I dropped a class every semester, and yes I was on grants and a loan. I thought I was the biggest loser on the planet. All I could do was keep going a little at a time, day-by-day and sometimes hour-by-hour until I got there. I wanted to kill myself too, but I couldn't grieve my mother like that.

To get as far as you have, you've already sucked it up. You have what you need. You can do it.

You are NOT a complete failure at life, Venevus! I feel like that too... I'm getting away from my parents because I'm getting older and still not doing stuff, and I want time to do stuff without people pressuring me to hurry up because I'm behind the game.


You don't need to do things your parents want you to do just because they sent you to ritzy schools or whatever. Do what you want. You don't want to waste your LIFE. If you want, click on the commune link in Ana54's sig.


You can PM me if you want to talk (I'm Ana54).

Reading through your posts I come to the conclusion you have
alot skill related to computers and getting the best possible job
you can right now is what you need. How to find that job is the problem I guess. I will throw out some crazy ideas till I think of something good. Have you considered joining the military?

I don't know how you can consider yourself a complete failure at life if you're only in college at this point. You've got so much time yet. You're in a place where you're learning to deal with life (hopefully.) You're only just beginning. Don't put too much pressure on yourself that you're paralyzed before you begin. Be kind to yourself.

I have my associated degree, but when i transfered to a new college i got only 16 credits. I'm now a sophmore.
First, i want to be a network administrator. Then I want to be in computer forensics.
I'm majoring in computer engineering (for many jobs i need a bachelors just to be considered)
my mom is useless. She knows even less about life than I do. I just found out that It's not too late for the FAFSA stuff and that it's a once a year thing. I'm only going to qualify for loans but hell, i'm gonna get whatever loans i can just to get out from under her.



All i got offered at my current school is federal and private loans. I'm changing colleges.



I feel like this too, my mom keeps telling me to grow up, then a job opportunity comes along and she tries to turn me off from it (she's like super paranoid).



I have thought about it, but I want nothing to do with that (and I'm a weakling, i work out, but I've never been able to gain muscle mass or much strength at all, even when i was very serious about being a body builder a few years ago).



I just wanna thank everyone who replied. This was posted in a moment of much frustration brought on by a typical interaction between me and my mom, about the long standing battle about my schooling. It gets complicated so I won't go into it.

one more thing, I'm the kind of person who was at the mindset that I would move out of home before I turned 20 and be completely financially apart from my parents. I didn't even realize other people still lived with their parents for much of college.

Me too! :fails at life:

here in asia, most guys stay with their parents until they get married (which could be anywhere between 24-30). it's nothing to do with being a loser. it's about saving costs. it's accepted by society here so noone's going to call you a loser.

http://academyadmissions.com/athletics/physical_req.php

Can you do:

Pull-ups 1
Long Jump 5'9"
Sit-ups 58
Push-ups 18
600-Yd Run 2:23
1.5-Mile Run 14:17

Also even in basic training you will not be expected to be able to do those on day one. And get this you can repeat basic training 8 week program as many times as needed to get to the minimum fitness requirements according to my coworker who was in both the Navy and the Army. I saw a report a few years ago how there is a massive brain drain of computer expert in the military. You will be wanted in the military and will get the experience needed to land a good job. Plus I think their giving big sign up bonuses right now so you would likely get a big self esteem boost when you get a $20,000+ check.

Last edited by TheMachine1 on 10 Sep 2007, 10:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You get it by filling out the FAFSA - it doesn't just apply your for grants, but for subsidized and unsubsidized loans to. Unfortunately if your a freshman the government won't give you enough money, even in loans, to cover tuition. THen you'll either have to sit out a year(s) and work to pay for your freshman year, or have your parents request a PLUS loan

Well, I tell you what...

You sound like me... for the last 20 years... as far as school goes.
Actually, you have an Associates Degree! That's better than me!

So, you're not doing too bad.

If you feel like you understand the material, but can't do anything concrete with it... finishing homework, finishing tests, etc., then you should go to your student counselor, disabled student services, or whatever your school has for folks with things like ADD and AS.
They should have some protocol for helping you figure out if you qualify for help or special aid.
It's not all bad.

When I took my diagnosis of ADD/HD to the school, they told me I could take my tests in the testing center, have someone take notes for me if I needed, wear a special jacket with the words, "CAUTION: ADHD ON BOARD!"... naw, that last one was just a joke

What I actually used through my school's DSS was the computer rooms, where I could be by myself with the lights off and my headphones on while working on my homework. No one to walk in and disturb me.

I could have used a tutor if I wanted, but I never did.

That's what I think you should do.

I struggled with knowing I could understand algebra, biology, etc. but failing to be able to express what I knew inside my head... outside my head.
I would get so discouraged during the semesters that I would eventually drop a class or two (usually after the drop day so I would get an incomplete or an F ), and camp out in the computer lab dive-bombing enemy warships in the Pacific.

I finally figured out when and where I performed best in regards to class work.
I also finally figured out I do best if my life is pretty regulated with a schedule that I can stick with.
Sometimes my work pulls me away from school, mainly because I just cannot say no when they need me to fill in for someone else.

All this only happened in my early 40's, so you have PLENTY of time to get a handle on things if you recognize your difficulties now and find a means of working with them.

I wish you well!

Cute joke though. I wish I knew I had ADD when I was in college. I completed 3 years.