Crisis of faith

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I am having a bit of a crisis of faith at the moment. Normally I believe that what the universe wills will happen, and that everything happens for a reason. But at this point in my life, I am beginning to wonder if maybe the universe has forgotten about the little speck known as Lessian.

I am currently working in a temp job until October. That is great because it gets me a bit of financial leeway and freedom, but what happens after that? Before the job, I had been unemployed for 11 months. My debts were starting to spiral out of control, as was my state of being.
My boss has said that, budget allowing, they would love to keep me on, even if its only part time. the only problem with that is that I know how much money they have incoming. I also know how much outgoing they have to pay for, and the two are far to close to make keeping me a viable option. It is unlikely there will be the surplus cash. So in two months time I will be back on the unemployed boat again. And when that happens, I wont even be able to fall back on the Centrelink income. Centrelink wont have me because I am living with my partner. He has an income, but it is not enough to support both of us.
I can see myself in the same situation as 11 months ago: hopping from one crappy job to another with minimal income, no respect, and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Last time that happened, I came close to deliberately overdosing on sleeping tablets.
My chances of getting a serious job is almost none due to my lack of skills or education.
I have accepted, but am still depressed by the knowledge that I will never have my own home, never go on that overseas holiday, never be able to start my own business.
Then there is the knowledge that I do not have anything worth selling anyway. What I have and can do has already been done so many times before.

It seems as though at every turn, there is an obstacle that I am not strong enough to get past.
Without my goals of home holiday and business, everything seems pointless. I think I have lost the motivation to even do every day things, as there is no end goal in sight.

Any suggestions would be nice...

I sat for the public service exam, that was the only way i would ever get full time work. it was hell but i lasted for 9 years. it got me an overseas trip etc. these days in australia, a lot of people will never own a home, those days are gone. If you want to come on down to Tassie there's still some affordable real estate, but you're probably looking at around 200,000K. I moved state twice to find affordable housing.

The cheapies here tend to be far flung, two hours drive from a supermarket sort of thing.

Hi, I absolutely have a suggestion for you. Start learning how to make money selling things online. That will get you moving in the right direction as far as having your own business. It is something that you can learn how to do comfortably at your own pace, and whether or not you are also working at another job. It gives you ultimate flexibility as far as being able to do things your way and not by anyone else's standards or agenda.

Lessian, are you my identical twin/doppleganger? I'm in the same boat right now, with the temp situation, hopping from job to job, this side of homelessness. I even have skills in web design and graphic design, but no degree, so I'm not considered qualified. While I don't believe in God, you could say I'm having a "crisis of faith" in myself, I sometimes wonder how much I have left in me before they grind me down.

"I have accepted, but am still depressed by the knowledge that I will never have my own home, never go on that overseas holiday, never be able to start my own business."

I often feel that way, though I'm trying to do web design, the social aspect is holding me back. (I am making the effort, but it feels like I'm dragging a stone uphill, socially.)

"Then there is the knowledge that I do not have anything worth selling anyway. What I have and can do has already been done so many times before. "

I know the feeling. But then, I'm a strange artist and musician, and ironically feel that I have something that NOBODY has done before. But there's so much competition for the everyday stuff that it's hard to profit in a niche market when even mainstream artists are losing money.

I want to ask Boutique about that, via the Ebay recommendation, but I sometimes feel the same way. Maybe I can help put a spin on it, though. I'm an artist and musician, and so it seems everyone else is, today. Music and web design are almost like commodities. HOWEVER, the SPECIFIC melodies and pictures are not. A paperclip is a commodity, but a paperclip in the shape of Mickey Mouse or your own creation is special. If you try to be Coke or Pepsi, you'll wind up a third rate RC cola (in sales, no offense to those who like it.) But if you're a blue bubblegum Jone's soda, you stand out, and I'll buy it when it's available at my grocer.

Boutique offers a possible solution with the ebay selling. Boutique, do you do this yourself? I ask because it does seem like a good idea. I'm skeptical of it being that easy, though, only because I've been studying economics on the side, and realize that scarcity is a main component of profit. The other part is having things people actually want. There are so many people selling on ebay, and many are selling the same things. (I had a copy of the last Harry Potter to sell; so did everyone else.) I've seen the recommendation before a lot, and it's great if someone has something of interest to sell. But isn't that the rub for a beginner, the inventory? THie few things of interest I have I wouldn't want to sell. I'm not saying it's not possible, I'm just curious how you'd recommend actually starting. Though I confess, it sounds too...easy...too good to be true. But I don't want to wear a tie anymore. The sad thing is, I was a book/sidelines buyer for Tower Records, I should know this stuff. But it was there money, their structure. It's creating that structure from scratch that's intimidating.

Thanks.

(accidental double post)

"Online selling is NOT easy, and that is a major mistake that people make is they expect it to be. "

Boutique, thank you for saying this. It's so much easier to take someone's advice, oddly enough, when it is harder, because it's more likely real. I've heard other people say "it's easy," which is why I've been skeptical. As for the rest, thank you for the advice, it does sound doable, with a little elbow grease. I already started researching online, and found one suggestion for merchandise is to find out of business sales. I remember seeing a sign today that a local bookstore is closing, with up to 80 percent off books. I'll be scouring for potential inventory tomorrow.

Hello. Thankyou for your suggestions, but I have to burst a bubble or two at this point.
I have tried selling through ebay, all it did was cost me money and nothing sold.
I have had many suggestions over the years to do things like markets and fetes, but that is also not an option for me. I am reliant on public transport, and have no means of getting me and my stuff to the market locations.
That said, I am going to check out that wagglepop thingy someone mentioned further up.

I hope things improve with you soon!

I tried wagglepop, it is an american site for americans, they dont take Australians.
How did this thread get so far off track?
I got better briefly but am on the verge of going downhill again (dont mean to sound like a whiny drama queen). It is currently the tiny details of my obsessions that are keeping me going, but my concern is that I am heading into a time where I wont have energy time or resources for my obsessions.
Any comments that do not involve spending money?
I am getting really sick of the way things are going for me. It is as though I am not meant to have any kind of life outside of work.
If I work, I have no time or energy for me. If I dont work, I have no money which means no food etc. part time work is all well and good, if you can get it. Currently my entire being hangs on the whim of a woman who went and had a kid. It is nearing the end of my contract and she still has yet to make up her mind. why is it considered ok for a persons life to hang like that because another person cant decide?

G'day Lessian.

Can you say what type of work you are interested in?

I too sat the Public Service exam. I lasted 6 years in the Public Service. I thought it was good for me. I was sent on several courses which in hindsight were a great benefit for someone like me

Please note that I am not in the slightest way religious. When I refer to the universe, I am not talking about god or any such deity, simply making reference to fate/coincidence/the collective consciousness of all living things etc.
My concern is that everything has become totally pointless and irrelevant. I can no longer seen any reason why I should do everyday things like get up, go to work etc.
Why do we go to work: to earn money. why do we need to earn money: because human society dictates that we need these little bits of paper/plastic and metal in order to acquire things like food. why do we do things for recreation. does it serve any purpose towards the survival of our species? the answer to that is no. we will continue to breed and survive without things like entertainment.
I am trying to find a reason why I should make the effort to be part of a society that has no purpose or place for me and what I have to offer.