What's happened to me? :( Please please please help

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samtoo
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15 Oct 2007, 5:57 pm

After all the college stuff, girl stuff, academic stuff, heavy thinking, harsh paranoia... and now this!!??

Me - Texted Heather tonight but... meh lol
Me - She just put she's doing good but her internet down so she won't be able to talk for a bit...
Dave - :o
Dave - hmm
Me - that mean anything bad or just - neh lol
Me - Because your reaction made me frightful lol
Dave - its not good
Me - No
Me - hmm............
Dave - forget about it though probably just tird
Dave - I'm off now seizure
Me - See ya
Me - Dude I'm worried now
Dave - Don't be :)
(at that point he logs off)
Me - But you just said it's bad.

Please people I really need help... :cry: I'm so distressed... :cry:


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samtoo
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15 Oct 2007, 7:23 pm

Why does no one help? :(


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Graelwyn
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15 Oct 2007, 7:33 pm

Your post makes it a little hard to understand exactly what is going on and what your worry is ?



samtoo
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15 Oct 2007, 7:34 pm

That she isn't interested... says it all in that msn convo in this message thingie.


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Graelwyn
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15 Oct 2007, 7:39 pm

There is no evidence in that conversation that this is the case.
Unless she has outright said so, I wouldn't assume.
Can be any number of reasons when someone seems to be a little less enthusiasic than usual



samtoo
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15 Oct 2007, 7:41 pm

Graelwyn wrote:
There is no evidence in that conversation that this is the case.
Unless she has outright said so, I wouldn't assume.
Can be any number of reasons when someone seems to be a little less enthusiasic than usual


Then I don't understand... why would my friend say that this is a bad thing? :(


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Graelwyn
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15 Oct 2007, 7:46 pm

samtoo wrote:
Graelwyn wrote:
There is no evidence in that conversation that this is the case.
Unless she has outright said so, I wouldn't assume.
Can be any number of reasons when someone seems to be a little less enthusiasic than usual


Then I don't understand... why would my friend say that this is a bad thing? :(


Because they know no better?
Because it has been a bad thing in their own experiences?
It does not mean it is a bad thing in this case.
I wouldnt fret until you have had contact with her again .



EvilKimEvil
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15 Oct 2007, 7:49 pm

It doesn't sound like a bad thing, based on what you've said. But I don't know the people or the situation. Maybe you could try asking her if everything's all right the next time you talk?



sinsboldly
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15 Oct 2007, 8:39 pm

maybe it is a bad thing that her internet is down

my internet was down for two days, it was a bummer.. I was jonesing pretty bad
then I got it back up again, and continued chatting with my friends

so maybe the 'it's bad' wasn't about the lady wasn't intereste
maybe the 'it's bad' was that the internet was down.


just sayin'

Merle



dawndeleon
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15 Oct 2007, 8:57 pm

Its possible she just had a bad connection. How much are you pursuing her? I know some aspies really go for something once they have their eye on it. That type of behavior can be off putting for some people. just relax. You are all wound up over this and that just never helps. Dave could be wrong, and i know its probably all you can think about it because its important to you. Remember though, if you text her too much or im her too much she might balk a little because its moving too fast. All this relationship stuff is so fricking complicated.



samtoo
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16 Oct 2007, 1:12 pm

dawndeleon wrote:
Its possible she just had a bad connection. How much are you pursuing her? I know some aspies really go for something once they have their eye on it. That type of behavior can be off putting for some people. just relax. You are all wound up over this and that just never helps. Dave could be wrong, and i know its probably all you can think about it because its important to you. Remember though, if you text her too much or im her too much she might balk a little because its moving too fast. All this relationship stuff is so fricking complicated.


Well that's a strange one - on one hand YES I certainly am pursuing... I have a very hungry attitude like many an aspie... but on another hand NO because I remember the bloody rules :D and therefore don't text her much, don't send her too many messages... I think I overdid it with one too many a couple of days ago, and so therefore I'll not talk to her until Friday... to make it known that I ain't the needy type... there's a distinct difference between hungry and needy... I'm hungry, but this may be mistaken for needy.
I'm just a very determined guy...


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gwenevyn
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16 Oct 2007, 1:16 pm

How often does she initiate or deepen conversation?

This isn't a guaranteed sign... many shy people never initiate conversation, even with people they adore.

You're doing well to avoid appearing needy. It can be tough to strike a balance between appearing needy and appearing ambivalent. Once you know you're in her heart, you can feel free to go gaga all over her though.


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samtoo
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16 Oct 2007, 1:21 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
How often does she initiate or deepen conversation?

This isn't a guaranteed sign... many shy people never initiate conversation, even with people they adore.

You're doing well to avoid appearing needy. It can be tough to strike a balance between appearing needy and appearing ambivalent. Once you know you're in her heart, you can feel free to go gaga all over her though.


lol she rarely initiates at all... she has deepened a convo a few times though... although she does occasionally initiate just rarely.

Damn I hope this doing well turns into results. :lol:
If paranoia doesn't get the better of me I think I'd do well at the latter of what you say - doing whatever if I get that close to her lol. However, I have somewhat less experience at this than other stuff... but at least it's obvious when I care...


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gwenevyn
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16 Oct 2007, 1:23 pm

I don't remember... do you know she likes you and you're just anxious to keep things that way? Or are you unsure about how she feels? Or does your impression of her feelings shift with your mood?


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samtoo
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16 Oct 2007, 1:25 pm

It might shift, but now I feel more uncertain, but that heightened complexity and angst could simply be down to her computer being down... lol :D


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gwenevyn
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16 Oct 2007, 2:33 pm

Yeah, those moments when you're away from the person you care about and not receiving reassurance that their feelings have remained the same, those can be tough! Especially for aspies, I suspect. Since we don't read "signs" very well, we are accustomed to people changing how they feel about us, seemingly without warning, so we carry that worry with us, almost to the point of paranoia. Well, many of us, at any rate.

Just remember not to take it personally if things don't work out. It doesn't necessarily mean that you did anything wrong. Half the battle is just a matter of luck. Being there at just the right moment when her heart is unoccupied, happening to say the sort of things that one unique girl happens to find intriguing, happening to have the sort of looks that she in her particular tastes might fancy. Certain approaches do yield a higher success rate than others, but nothing works in every situation.


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