Work slipping

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My year in school is quickly taking a turn for the worst.

I keep forgetting about assignments, and they start to pile up (often it's due to a long-term assignment that gets pushed back in my head behind all the daily ones).

I can never seem to motivate myself to do my work outside of class. I find more interesting things to do, like drawing or using the computer.

Right now in Chemistry I've gone from an A- in term one to a C- (without my f****d homework average figured in). I'm sure my grades in my other classes are slipping as well. This past week I've become increasingly apathetic about my work, which can't help. I feel like school is becoming too much for me.

In the past few weeks I've fallen into an old habit of staying up very late and not getting much sleep. This probably contributes, but I don't even feel that well-rested on weekends.

Overall I've become really depressed. Many days I'll repeatedly mutter "I hate myself" or "I want to die". I often have thoughts of suicide and I've developed a tendency to inflict harm upon myself with pencils, pens, and scissors. Many times I'll start crying - sometimes even in public (Although I'll do it with my head down or hidden). Sometimes when I'm alone I'll start crying spontaneously.

I feel like I'm kind of f*****g up my life right now. How can I stop being stupid?

I did that in my freshman year in college. I couldn't get organized to save my life. It's the main reason I flunked out of engineering and ended up with an associate's degree.

It may sound corny, but make a list of assignments that will let you chart your progress on long-term assignments. Put the list where you'll trip over it so you'll remember to update it. It's the only way I could stay on track in college and at work.

The key is to put it where you have to physically move it aside to do a daily task, like play a video game or get on your computer. Tape it to your monitor, keyboard or game console. Don't put it on the fridge door or it'll blend into the landscape.

The lack of sleep is going to have to be grit your teeth and go to bed. Take 8 hours a day unless there's an emergency assignment. You'll feel more rested, less depressed and more able to focus on assignments. When you start completing the work mostly on time (everybody misses a few) you'll feel more in control of your life.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Lots of people get disorganized sometimes.