I'm starting to lose faith in NTs (rather ranty)

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As I learn more about myself and others with aspergers, and the continuing trials living around NTs forces me to deal with. I find my opinion of them shifting more and more into a darker place. The lack of understanding, miscommunications, lying, perceived amorality, ect. I deal with it all the time, and the more I am around them the more I find myself hurt and the more my trust erodes. Now I am viewing them more as amoral lying filth then fellow human beings.

I know there are honest and morally upright NTs that are understanding of differances and even respect them. But I dont meet them. I just meet more and more that show off their darker side.

In a way meeting other aspies has made things worse. I talk to them, and its just natural. Open and direct honesty, understanding in mispeaking, being able to discuss things in alternate outlooks. Not to mention that the long moments where a conversation becomes one sided is viewed as enjoyable by both parties rather then giving a sence of annoyance. I cant help but think, yes this is how society should be. This is how humans should interact. This is the right way to do things.

I know its bias caused by my alternate thinking, and that a NT would no doubt much prefer another NT the same way I prefer another aspie. Still from my point of view and past experiences, dealing with NTs is an unnessicarily complex effort that rarely works out and often hurts you. Whild dealing with another aspie is effortless and rewarding.

There are NT that I would no doubt love to spend time with. Just as there are no doubt aspies that are lying selfish jerks. Its just, nearly every aspie I talk to I get along great with, at the very least we respected each other differances and just stopped associating. While most NT are the opposite. Talking to them is a test of patients, and you can almost feel their contempts as they talk to you. Not to mention the lying, cheating, heck they go out of their way to make others suffer for their own amusement.

To end I just want to clearify again, I know this isn't true for all NT, or all aspies. I am just saying this is my experience and thus its what is shaping my outlook.

I am ostracized as "bad" by NTs who have done extreme acts of cruelty, some of them cruelty at a national level. Crimes it'd never cross my mind to commit. They love each other. Their values are different. Success is more important than respect. Money is more important than kindness. Appearances are more important than essence. Then at the end of life they whine why they've been betrayed by all their loved ones. Because the kind of love they choose does not hold for long. Eventually, they stab each other.

thats so true it almost brought a tear to my eye. They assume we lie and cheat because they do, more importantly because they think even saying we dont is an act of deception.

Your statement on love I also agree with. They dont have more, and more shallow, relationships because they need them or are more accepting. Its because they dont look for what we do. And what we look for is a deeper thing that doesn't change over time. Or atleast we hope not

I see NTs as not good nor bad, just people who hold different values from mine. I don't think they don't see the good in me, I think they don't appreciate it because what is "good" for me is not good for them. I know in my family being honest and poor is looked down upon, whereas being "clever" enough to manipulate others and take enough advantage of it to build yourself a house with swimming-pool is seen as success.

yea but by their own cultural values thats wrong. You are taught that using others for your gain is wrong. My problem isn't so much the differances but the hipocracy. We are taught at a young age lying is wrong, but they do it without a second thought. Yes I know, we view morality differently then them. To us its an absolute, to them its a guide-line. But the fact its an absolute is why from my point of view they are corrupt

Of course. But I believe that hypocrisy is just one more value they uphold and we don't. They call it "white lies".

My aunt, for example, who is the leader of the family pack, has outcasted many members of the family for being "bad", including me, while everyone knows she's been married for 50 years to a man who made their money by such a horrendous crime to humanity I don't even want to write it.

Everyone looks up to her in the family, though. Why? Because hypocrisy+money is good, while honesty+mediocre standard of living is the actual crime for them.

One thing I've learnt is to be careful to accept into my close circle only people who hold similar values to mine. Otherwise, I'm predated.

yea, but it shouldn't be like that. Thats my problem with how things are. People just shouldn't do these things.

I do agree with your friend thing, but my values are often held by aspies, and rarely held by NT. Which basically brings me back to my original post. I find NTs to be morally corrupt compared to Aspies

I've lost faith in NTs before, once or twice to the point where I wouldn't have thought twice about killing one or more of them if not for the fact that I would be risking my own life or freedom.

I've lost faith in the majority of them, a long time, ago.

I agree they're corrupt according to my values. But they're not corrupt according to their values.

That's why I think it's not a question of them being bad and us being good, but a question of them and us having different opinions of what good and bad is.

My values are not the best values just because I uphold them. Same about their values.

I value strength. They value power.

Could the general experience you have with the morals of NT's be a reflection on the corruption of society?

I ask this because I find my fellow NT's to be honest and kind. I would also add that they feel safe in their world and are totally involved in family, activities, etc. They do not go out of their way to be inclusive of anyone who is different.

I am sorry that you have had such bad experiences, and no doubt will continue to have them. The more I read the stories the more I come to understand how harsh it can be mixing in NT society.

We have to educate, educate, educate. There are decent NT's who live in ignorance aof what the label of aspergers really means.

I've had a better experience with NTs than you guys, maybe it's just the community I grew up on but people have generally been pretty nice to me. Of course there are glaring exceptions, mostly with strangers. I was at a night club once with some friends (not fun, the music was so LOUD I just wanted to go HOME) and I tried to be all interacty but it didn't work. This pair of girls, I don't know what they thought I was doing wrong, they dragged me into a bathroom and put soap in my eyes.
But I've met really nasty Aspies too.
A lot of times NTs lie because they don't want to 'hurt people's feelings.' I personally find that idiotic, how will lying fix anything, but sometimes they think that's the 'Right' thing to do. So I can't judge them.
If we judge them and assume all these things about them then we're just as bad as them assuming all these things about us.

I totally agree with about nts, i lost so much trust and faith in a lot of nts i meet. Especially my brother, he has adhd, but besides that hes always like "i wish you would grow up" or "this sh*t is getting old" because i always have minor meltdowns and he thinks im acting, when i really wish i was. I tell every nt parent of autistic children the biggest and most important thing you could do to help your child is Accept who they are! My brother says hes embarrassed by me sometimes, it makes me want to just beat myself, of what so many nt ppl have said to me. I've heard the words "your a waste" ever since i was a baby. If i get upset easily, even my mother will go "oh great here we go again!" like thanks, i'm already upset, just make me worse. I just wish nts would understand and accept me for who i am, and not want to change me into something i'm not. My nt bf will occasionally joke around saying i wish u were normal, its a joke, i know, but it still offends me, i know ill never be normal, ive accepted it, why doesn't anybody else accept it! I can't count how many times my family wanted to put me into a foster home or a group home or institution because i was different. I can remember my father handing me an apt book when i was 8. I hated it, like to them everything i do or say is wrong.

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