shopping, people trying to change me

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great, i open up to my mother about my suspicion that i might have aspergers and as an example explained that might explain why i was never into fashion and being trendy, unlike her.
well happy f'in x-mas. she figures since i can't buy fashionable clothes on my own, that i need to be forced to buy such clothes. so i'm given $200 and told specifically to spend it all in the gap. after fighting saying i don't want to, i t makes no sense to me...... i cave and go to the store.
that was my first time in a gap, and everything looked the same to me. i even had a hard time trying to separate the mens section from the womens.
well anyway, i basically found the few pieces of clothing that i sorta liked and bought it.

so when i bring it home it was a huge celebration "now you'll look like a real person" "take all your old clothes and give it to charity" "thats how a man dresses"

makes me so sick. i'm still the same person, i just have a new cover from an overpriced store.

I can relate. My relatives always give me jewelry for my birthday and Christmas even though they haven't seen me wear jewelry since I was too young to have a say in the matter. This Christmas, they gave me ear rings even though I don't have my ears pierced. I don't know if they're trying to change me or if they're thinking, "All we know about Kim is that it's a female. Females wear jewelry."

Your mom did not force you to do anything, you decided to obey her. If I were you, I wouldn't have bought anything with that money. I would have taken the money and given it out to charity, then told my mom poor people need that money more than I do.

I put up my fight/arguments for about 2 hours. I told her just let me buy my usual stuff. But you know what, I know if I pulled a stunt like that I'd be blamed for ruining the christmas dinner tonight of 10+ people. And since I don't live at home I don't have to wear the clothes again if I don't want to.

I just hated the pressure and insisting that this is what I should be doing.

How many outfits did you buy? I would have bought at most only a pair of pants a t-shirt.

$200 at the Gap buys like, two t-shirts and a pair of slacks.

Clothes have always been an issue for me-- always hated dresses even as a little girl, liked pants only, didn't like frilly stuff. Now the majority of my clothing is black, with the occaisonal brown or dark green. I am only comfortable in black though in the past relatives have tried to change me by buying me a colored sweater or top for Christmas (surprise! as I open the package-- a hot pink sweater!). It would sit in the closet and if I wore it I'd be uncomfortable all day. Fortunately, I am accepted now and can laugh at the fact that I am familiar with all the shades of black in my closet and understand that others just see a sea of black tops and I know each one individually.

In short-- hang in there. Parents will always try and change you if you don't fit their expectations. Eventually they'll give up and accept you for who you are.

i basically hit the sales and clearance section and got 3 pairs of pants, and 4 long sleeve shirts for $174. I've always been a bargin hunter and was no different there.

i didn't put up a fight because i don't give a s**t about fashion or trends so its not that i'm wearing gap, its that i was treated as if NOW i'm a better person then i was because of my clothes.

It always seems to me that to NT's its the facade of things that is important (how things look). Whether its what is "culturally acceptable" is so important-- this applies to clothes or actions or whatever. The saying goes: "the clothes don't make the man(or woman)" and that is so true. So sorry you are dealing with this-- sounds like you know who you are though which is good. Hang in there.

Clothes do not make the person topic

When I was a kid this was more of an issue-- I fought people trying to experiment with the way I looked as though I was a dress up doll. My NT youngest daughter says this is okay with her--she does go along with it and then decides. She is such a little diplomat.

Having said this, I hate people suggesting unwelcome changes. What cheek. It is better when you grow up--at least adults have more of a choice. Nobody would dare criticize my selection of attire and live to tell!! Ha Ha!

when i get forced into stuff like that i would kick up a stink cos i would not see the point of it all, they would try to force me to buy tops that were the same style and yell that they were not the same just cos the color is different. they would act like i was some kind of cheapo just cos i did not want to spend my monies on expensive and flimsy tops.

so i relates to u,. but why was gap the store u had to spend the monies in? why gap compared to all the other clothes stores?

fortunately, my parents have some feel for what i like to dress in, and they usually get me something i can wear without dying from shame.
i dont wear fashion clothes, like dolche gabbana and the like. expensive and ugly. you're not suppposed to pay 100$ for a pair of undies. and i like to express to the general public that im different. i even ordered a kilt from a friend of mine whos a tailor. gonna wear it for my last day in school. kilt and military boots.....kinky

Hold on there a moment... there's nothing kinky about men wearing skirts and boots!

I have several kilts (all but one are modern kilts), but I don't like to wear shoes, so the boot thing is out... I wear sandals all year.

I like my Utilikilt, but I prefer plain old skirts.
Just wish more men had the 'balls' to wear skirts in public, in Western society, that is.

It's funny when women tell me, "My husband wears a sarong! When we're on vacation in Hawaii!".
I tell them he should wear one at home too!

Anyway, nbxyz, sounds tough. I push my daughter to buy clothing, but that's when the stuff she's stil wearing is several years old and not fitting anymore or pretty ragged... she's 14 and was still growing.

I don't mind her having her own style though and she's known for having her own style too!
We actually have found stuff at the thrift stores we like better than new stuff at the mall.
She has always been happy with the clothing her mom has sewn for her too.

I would rather shop at the gap than anywhere else just because everything looks 'the same'. Who has time to think and cooridinate.

I'm not trendy either, so I know where you are coming from.

My mum used to be like that with me, when I was in high school. It was a pain. I'd wear the clothes to school, and than dress in hippie fashion on the weekends, and get into my sweats, after school. She used to give me a lot of grief, about it. Now, I just wear whatever I want.

my mother has a strange fascination with the gap and believes that they have the, what she calls, "clothes with the best quality that'll last the longest."


its all the same to me. its just that i can spend $20 here, or $200 there and get the same clothes.