Belittling father destroying self-esteem

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For the past few days, my father has been putting much pressure on me and my sister to eat better. We're both underweight, and we both have been for years. He always goes through these phases, with large gaps of time in between, where he will put pressure on us to eat better. He does not seem to acknowldege me as an adult, though he expects me to behave like one.

He is completely bipolar, and will treat me differently depending on what time of the year it is. He can be quite an angry man, and often I will bare the full brunt of his aggression. He has high expectactions of me and sees me as a failure. He will often mock me with inane, asinine jokes in front of other people and put me down, sometimes telling me how much other people's kids are better. He seems to think that bullying and belittling will somehow encourage me, but it is failing. He treats me like a little kid and will often check up on me to make sure I am doing what he wants and if I am not, he will often lecture me on how unhealthy I am/how ungrateful I am/how I will never succeed in the future.

He has shown me nor my sister any respect, and thus in turn he has lost all mine. Winding me and my other family members up also seems to be his favourite pastime, and he will often act very childish and immature and say the most asinine things. Why is this man devoid of any respect or compassion for his children and acts like he owns their lives when they are already adults? Does he even love them? That's the question that I have pondered throughout my entire life. Why must he treat them like dirt to get his own way? Does he have any regard for what they want instead of what he wants? Maybe he's just crap at parenting and is a control freak.

Today and yesterday for example, when we all dined together, he kept constantly going after me. I felt that he was abusive and constantly harassive, speaking to me or about me in a condescending or patronizing, but not necessarily serious, manner, like as if I was a ret*d that shouldn't be taken seriously or be respected in any way and should be mocked and made fun of. He managed to make all his comments negative in tone and then told me to cheer up like as if I wasn't allowed to be unhappy, and then impersonated me or belittled what I said.

Well, thanks for reading my rant. I needed to let that out.

I'm sorry you've had such a horrible relationship with your father. He's bipolar, he's gonna have issues. Just don't take it personally if he treats you that way. If you ask me it's his problem.
Well, good luck.

I understand where you are coming from, and it definitely can suck. I mean your father is someone that is supposed to be supportive and otherwise helpful. It doesn't make sense to the logical brain when said father does not behave in that manner.

Hang in there

Would it help if you would tell him with a deadly serious face that if he doesnt stop you will "cut him off and never give a second thought about it"?

As Sirunus apparently lives with his parents I'm sure that stance would be met with derision and an offer to live out in the streets.

Until Sirunus becomes independent from his parents, he is still under their roof and at their mercy. Lots of people won't see you as an adult until you have left your parents nest to make a nest of your own. Perhaps your father shares that view.