Why?

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It's not fair! It seems like all my parents do these days is lecture me and yell at me! Whenever I speak up out about somethnig I'm told to 'shut up' and they wonder why I never stand up for myself or speak up when my own parents don't ever agree with anything I say and yell all the time. Then when I break down and cry about something they yell at me about they will leave me to cry for hours then one them will usually come up to my door and tell me to shut up and stop being that way which of course will throw me into deeper depression and I'll cry for even longer. They don't understand I don't have anyone to go to when I'm depressed because I have no deep friends like that and my brother and sister seem to think its funny when I have a breakdown and make just as many sarcastic remarks. They don't understand how much it hurts for the two people who are supposed to give me emotional support are always lecturing me or telling me I'm wrong and the whole world is right when I come to them.

I have CUT myself trying to get my parents to notice I'm depressed and an in need of sympathy not more yelling or lecturing. When they saw they once again showed no sympathy which was the whole reason I did it in the first place. They litarally yelled at me and told me to knock it off and stop being a baby. I CUT MYSELF SO THAT YOU WOULD NOTICE I'M DEPRESSED AND NEED COMFORT NOT MORE ANGER AND DEPRESSION! WHY CAN'T YOU GIVE A DAMN? WHY CAN'T YOU NOTICE I'M SAD AND HAVE NOBODY TO GO TO!

It's not fair that I'm only happy when I'm being left alone! It's not fair that its nothing but constant stress for me in school and at home when I'm dealing with my family! Nobody seems to realize I have Aspergers and I'm not just a weird person or that I'm acting the way I do to pull everyone's legs and they know I have it! I just want people to treat me nicely and I be nice in return but not even my parents want to be nice to me.

I have no one.....but myself.

Don't even get me started on the 'get a job NOW' thing. My mother and teacher forced me into this and left me to fend for myself or stick around to give me.....a wonderful lecture on how I must be normal.

It's just constant and endless stress that make up my day, I go to school be stressed out all day go home to either lock myself up in my room or stick around for my mother to list the things I need to do or yell about the stuff I haven't done. Or they'll find something else to stress me out about.

If I do say anything to them about the things bothering me they usually say 'wait until you have a job' yeah....I'll probably be dead from a heart attack long before then.... Here we go again with no support from anyone.

If your going to try and help me do it in a way thats not lecturing or telling it to me in a way that makes me feel like I'm trapped in a corner with no way out.

When I submit this I have half the heart to call them up here to read this.....maybe then they'll be willing to read what I type since they never seem to want to hear what I have to say.....

This whole time I've been up here crying and typing this not one of them have come up here to say anything to me kind or otherwise. They'll keep ignoring me until I go down stairs and then I'll be bombarded by rude comments as usual.

I'm glad I did type this though It's made me feel A LOT better to get it FINALLY all out. Even if it won't help anything....

It is awful to have parents who seem to enjoy telling me to shut up. It seems all they want is for me to be an obedient normal person who doesn't cause problems for them.....which I can't pull off it just isn't going to happen....

Oh boy, where do I start?

CTCD, I was in a similar situation when I was a teen. My parents were about as understanding and lets just say I was better off when I moved out on my own.

If you're looking for love and understanding from your family due to your issues, there's a chance they may not have the empathy they need to understand you and provide the comfort you need. Yeah, I know we Aspies are supposed to be the ones without empathy. But unfortunately, NTs only tend to have empathy for other NTs, not people with asperger's.

They don't know what it's like to be aspie so their reaction is to look at it as a behavioral problem, not a sign that you're hurt and need comfort. They think if they can stop the behavior anyway they can no matter how much it hurts you, they've solved the problem.

What you're looking for from your parents is not something you will get from them, unfortunately. You will have to look within yourself and seek whatever love and comfort you need during those bad times. In the mean time, work on making a life for yourself, get good grades in school so you can get a good job.......and get out on your own.

hmm...mine just left me alone, and thought I was 'shy'. Don't know if that helped me or not.

Ok, first things first. You...are a unit. The thoughts in your head, your experiences, and your knowledge, are what make the unique person known as 'you' exist. No one can take any of that away from you, unless you let them. It's in this unbreakable part of you that you will find your strength.

Jeez, I sound like a fortune cookie, but I've been depressed myself, and it's hard coming out of that. If you couldn't do it, you wouldn't have come to us.

As for a job, something after school will at least let you get out of the poisoned atmosphere at home you describe. Even not a job, but something to do, to give you some time to think about yourself, and what you can do to help yourself, is a good thing.

Take care...