A Hard Day

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Ah! Ive had such a bad day. I decided to go to brighton for the day to visit an old friend and took my kids with me, I thought it would be nice(the fool!). Well, we went to the park and unfortunately my daughter (aged 9) went in the sand pit before I could stop her. So she started raging and screaming that she was sandy ( why the f*** did she go in the sand pit then!! !) so she proceeded to alternate running in the road and strangling, hitting and attacking each one of us in turn all the way to the station (about 45 mins). So I had to half drag her back to the station while being mortified that my friend was seeing all this. I am so annoyed as I hadnt seen my friend in 3 years and I wanted it to be nice. Im sick of my daughter being so difficult everytime we leave the house. I home school at the moment but I just cant handle her any more, Im trapped in the house! I dont know if I should send her to the special school or if that will be worse- she will probably be excluded in a week. Worst of it is my youngest is now copying her and saying I want AS too! and doing all sorts of challanging behaviours- I just cant cope! Its hard enough coping with my own AS in supermarkets ect without having to cope with hers too. Thanks for listening- its so hard!

Sounds like you need a good parent support group and your daughter needs therapy to ease the stress and anquish her behavior is creating for you.

I'm sorry you're going through that. I had a sister with severe autism while growing up. She made it impossible to enjoy family outings in restaurants, because she would always melt down. Parks were ok, if other people didn't get too close, which was hard to control. She would also help herself if we were in a store, and we would turn to see that she was eating candy, or a banana, which wasn't paid for. Any attempt to discipline, was met with loud shrieks.

I am lucky that we have an excellent local support group that meets several times a month. Also I do all "the right" things : gluten/ casien free diet, organic additive free diet, yoga , meditation, behaviour charts- but she still has AS and very challenging behaviour, it would be worse if we didnt do those beneficial things but sometimes I just wish so strongly that she would just behave! and the thought of 7-10 more years of it is awfull. I cant go anywhere with out her melting down or running away and its so hard to carry on- such a struggle. Aswell because people can see that Im weird they think that Im making her like that and are quite critical insted of being supportive, when in fact Im one of the few people who can relate to her- she just does things on a much bigger scale than I would. I am also studying my MSC at the moment and its so hard to concentrate with all the stress- I just want it to go away. We see the local childrens mental health service but thats just another added stress rather than a help. I need a break but no one will babysit because of her behaviour- its just all to dam hard and I dont know what else I can do to make it better.

my god! I killed my own thread!

If you need parenting advice, I'd suggest you try the parenting forum.

I'm sorry it's so hard, and I would help if I could but I just don't have anything to offer.

Im not very good at accepting parenting advice which is why I didnt post on the parenting forum- i just wanted comfort.

I'm sorry about your problems with your daughter. I can't imagine how tough it must be for you.

how about asking social services for some respite care? or if you can be refered to the children with disabilities team, some one trained/police checked used to take my son out one day a week, not much but it gave me A FEW HOURS.

I was where you are, and I remember weeping, It's never going to get better! and despair and fatigue and anger and sorrow and aggravation etc. All I can do is promise it will get better, eventually. You sound like an excellent parent with excellent skills. Boy, do I remember trying to visit with friends and only ending up with more hassle and physical pain than I ever wanted to deal with. I remember once walking into the laundry room and seeing my daughter covered with detergent powder and the rest on the floor and I opened my mouth and screamed until every atom of oxygen was out of my body. I took a deep breath, glanced out the window, and saw the people at the bus stop just in front of my house looking at our house with worry. I ducked before they could see me. I still have some scars on my arms.
She lives in her own home now and is a very happy person. And I'm very happy she lives in her own home.