I see why people turn to drugs now...

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I'm not gonna do it though. Because eventually things will be better. So this wretched thing that I've become, which broke the refrigerator by throwing barbeque sauce at it, doesn't matter in the end. If I flunk pre calculus, that'll f**k me over. If I keep doing things like breaking refrigerators, that'll f**k me over. So I need to not do things like that.
My mind gets me here. So what now, I stare blankly at the Pre Calculus textbook?
It's 8:40, and I didn't get taught what I have to do for my pre cal homework. So I get to teach myself from a text book, which I suck at. Works well with the quiz I failed. Speaking of the quiz, I wish the teacher had helped me when I asked how to do something. I mean, that's what school is for right? Teaching? If we were all supposed to learn from text books we wouldn't pay teachers.
And while I'm gradually falling, I have to master a bunch of relatively difficult music for the music festival, in like a week. And with all these things I have to do and my cumulative sleep loss, I find it hard to do.
And I keep expecting people in my life to care but they never do.
And what does that make me? One of those attention/pity seeking emo kids?
Yup, that's how I feel, that's what I am now.
I can't believe I broke the f*cking refrigerator. I don't wanna deal with this, I just don't want to deal with ANY of this sh*t. But what else is there?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWEXqlFmLx0[/youtube]

Watch this video

Why all this emphasis on flunking?

School and exams are always made out to be this big thing etc... It's funny because when you leave school you still think that for the first few years - longer if you go to university.

Then eventually, you realize that nobody gives a damn.

They care about who you are now, not what grades you got.

maybe compartmentalize. Tackle each problem separately; devote time to it, and nothing else. When you've made progress (or even solved it) start on another. Put the first problem out of your mind. Concentrate on the one at hand. It's what I do all the time at work.

btw - how do you break a refrigerator with barbecue sauce? that's worthy of a U-tube video..

When I posted this I was having a meltdown, and I'm getting past it.
So half of this is melodrama. I'm actually a bit ashamed.
As for the fridge, I didn't break the whole fridge, just a plastic compartment.

The advice of focusing on one thing at a time, I think someone told me that once before, I should do that...

...I don't get it, I was so imbearably angry. I hardly slept that night, because I stayed up for hours teaching myself calculus. But today things are going well, very well.

Yep. That's how I made it through school.

And... you need sleep. The less sleep you get, the less rationally you'll behave, and the less you'll be able to focus.

I realize all-night cram sessions are sometimes necessary, but they should be a rarity, and the rest of the time you should be disciplined about getting to bed at a reasonable hour.