Do you want to escape to somewhere else?

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During lunch today at school, I went to the school library to finish reading an issue of National Geographic magazine. Half way through the corridor leading to the library I could already hear the noise coming out from there. When I entered the room, it was no surprise to me to see the Chinese Orchestra practicing there. Even though I was bracing myself for the loud music before I enter the room, I was still shocked by the noise (they're all amateur musicians). You may wonder what the orchestra's doing in the library, but it just so happens that the school librarian is the moderator of the Chinese Orchestra club, so they practice in the library sometimes.

Even though I felt very disturbed by the noise, I took the magazine and began reading anyway. Then I suddenly realized why I dislike my school so much. All these years I felt that I'm fine with my school because I get pretty good grades, I am not rejected by my classmates, and teachers do not dislike me, but somehow I never really felt a connection to this school, now I know why.

It's because there's no where to hide. My school is situated right in one of the busiest places in the city, it's very crowded, and everywhere you go, you can hear noises, there are people. You're watched everywhere. There are security cameras on each floor. The corridors leading to the toilets are just opposite the teacher's staff room, where they can see if we run out of our classrooms to fool around. The only uncrowded place on the ground floor is the 'playground', where if you're foolish enough to be the only one to stand there, everyone in the covered playground, the garden, and in the two building blocks will be able to see you.

Then it became clear to me, for all my life, I've been living in a place where it's impossible to withdraw from. I live in a crowded city, where everyday I have to endure sitting with possibly three or four people talking on the mobile phone on my way to and back from school. I have to share my bedroom with my elder brother during summer and with my aunt every weekend.

I want to go somewhere desperately. Somewhere close to nature, somewhere quiet, with fewer people. I think I'd like to live in New Zealand or Australia, and/or work as a scientist (I am beginning to have an interest in cognitive science) in a remote area, like studying the behaviors of monkeys.

So my question is... do you want to go somewhere else too? Not just visit a place, but to call that place your home? Why do you want to go that place? What makes you dislike where you're in now?

Yeah, but I am not sure where.

Yes. I'm actually planning on going to France for a year next year. Somewhere in the south where it's warm and peaceful. I'm saving all my money for it, and it might actually become a reality, even though I should be building up my CV and getting a better job.

I hate my town because it's grey and busy. I don't feel like I belong anywhere, so at least in France I can drift around but in a nicer climate.

Yeah, I need to get away. I want to learn French more than what I know now, and the Cote D'Azur (Nice, Cannes etc) is only about a $20 flight away so if I get a bit overwhelmed I can come home easily.

I would love to move away to anywhere

I was lucky. My school had large tracts of bushland in it. So when it got too much I just went to the bushland.

Once I figured out the spots where all the druggies took drugs, and the smokers smoked, and the maters mated... (in first two weeks of first year) it was fairly easy to avoid them. I could literally wonder around the school for all of lunch and little lunch and not see a soul. Occiasionally I would bump into someone. But I kept a basketball on me at all times. So if I was coming uphill I would say that I was on my way back from playing basketball, and if I was heading down it I would say I was on my way to play basketball. (we had outdoor asphalt courts at the bottom of a hill from the school)

And if there was some stupid rogaining on, well I helped teach Computing at my school from year 9 onwards, so I just went to the computer labs and mucked around. Teaching myself PASCAL took a while, then there was always prince of persia. But I digress...

yeah, West Aussie schools can be massive. Lots of hidey places. At least, at my school there was.

But now I would like to escape somewhere more welcoming, rather than just escaping in general. You know, a place where I am welcomed for my talents, and not ridiculed or shunned for my differences. That's my dream.

When I was younger I needed to physically escape from social situations. Most of the time I would be fine and happy, but every once in a while I would need to go someplace quite to have a breather from all the noice and stimulation.

Then I thought myself to meditate. Retreat into myself for just a few seconds. That works every bit as much as hiding in my room ever did, and it can be done even when no hiding place is in sight. I do have to explain why I space out though

I want to go to Japan of America for at least a month.