Made a big scene in front of everyone feeling depressed

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So my grandmother decides that it would be really nice to have the whole family go to this valentines day party at her 55 and old complex. We go and are hanging out, when this women comes up to me and POKES me in the arm and told me to be quite (because this guy is signing). Well, I freaked out, and had to go outside for air because I hate being poked i dont like the feeling at all...then i come back i feel kind ok and then to make matters worse my grandmothers boyfriend who is a ~fill in the obscene word here~ decides he is going to poke me like 15 times just to piss me off...well my body could not take it anymore and i busted out crying everyone looking at me like im some kind of a freak..and my aunt and uncle had to drive me home.....I feel like i let my family down..and now they are saying why dont i grow up and stop acting like a baby! So here I sit depressed and alone.

I'm sorry. I know you wanted to contribute to making the party jolly. Personally, I think it should be the boyfriend who feels ashamed (tho he won't) and not you. I can't stand to be poked either.

how did you let that old lady poke you in the arm?
ok, you're autistic and maybe didn't see it comming but why do old folks think that they can behave like children or better said misbehave

That was not very considerate of them to do that. I know that people tend to do those kinds of things without thinking. They feel a sense of release to put the feelings into you. I know, because I used to go out of my way to irritate people like my father or even my husband (and my cat, my poor cat used to be squeezed until she hissed) You shouldn't feel guilty for other people's lack of self-control and respect.

i didnt even see her coming..cause my back faced the other table so i never seen her until it was to late....if i would of seen it coming i would of jumped or moved as fast as I could.....i dont know good questions why do old people or ever any PERSON think they can just touch another person when they want to...grrrrrrrrrrr i hate being touched when i dont know its coming!! but now i feel like an ass because everyone seen me crying and my family is telling me to grow up and stop it...and its like nobody understands whats it is like to be me to be "us"....

OMG, your grandma's boyfriend is a total idiot. What would she see in a loser like that? He is the freak, not you.

Your family sounds unsympathetic too. You're certainly not alone in this, my family is the same, and I've read similar accounts on this forum. When you are old enough to move away from them, your life will get much better, trust me.

Ok, So she is NT and comes from a social group where touching someone is not a major offense and maybe does not realize how hard she is poking you and that you are autistic. I can understand that part. (I am curious why your talking would disrupt someone who is signing but that is a side issue so lets leave that alone for the moment). Back on topic, This woman's actions are understandable and forgivable because there is no clear intent to harm you and she presumably had no expectation of the distress it was going to cause you.


This is very different! The legal term for this is "assault and battery. (assault = he trys to hit you, battery = he does hit you). Someone needs to inform this @#$@#%^ that he committed an assault. He did it with malicious intent. And if he knew or should have known that you are autistic the charge may be even worse.

I am appalled that no one in your family stepped in and supported you on this. Someone (a family member preferably male or possibly a police officer if needs be) should inform this low-life that if he does this again he is in for a court appearance so he can explain himself to a judge. An alternate would be for someone to step in and administer some rough justice, perhaps in the form of a bloody nose. It would be oh, so cool if you did it yourself brcause who is going to hold it against a girl when she slugs a guy and then yells "Pervert !" (Actually just looking at him and yelling "pervert" would probably do the job) What this idiot did is a form of dominance behavior, so beware, he will likely do it again to try to puff up his perverted pathetic ego. What ever action you take against him, under no circumstance apologize in any way if someone thinks your response is inappropriate. You are the aggrieved party in this case.

Did you mean that she wanted you to be quiet?

If so, I hope things improve with you soon!

As far as the poking, it was obviously wrong of him to provoke you!! ! I too find it very hard to stop myself from obsessing when I'm embarrassed about something that I did. I wish there were magic words to tell you to make it go away.

When something like this happens to me, I ask myself how am I going to handle the situation differently next time. Perhaps telling him to stop, then insulting him if he doesn't, then loudly calling him a demented pervert if need be. If I took these steps, I would have felt that I stood up for myself and might not be as embarassed about the situation. I try to take these situations as learning experiences. Otherwise, I'll repeat the mistakes over and over.

I know it's nearly impossible, but you just can't put much stock in what people think about you. You had a blow up. It's over. Next page. When your old and gray, will it really matter that you had this little blow up? You won't even think twice about it. Now, thinking about it constantly only holds you back and builds anxiety. You need to move on. A "diet of the mind" (from the movie A Beautiful Mind).