Sick of Living

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I am feeling pretty discouraged, right now. I am finding it hard to want to go on, because there seems to be no purpose to this life. I wake up in pain every day, and go to sleep in pain. I am just taking up space, on this planet. I could go on about my father dying, my daughter calling me long distance to say hurtful things, my brother being an idiot when I just needed to know that someone loves me and cares what happens to me. Since I have no real support, I doubt that I would be missed very much, especially by my family. They are so wrapped up in themselves, that they wouldn't notice if I was gone for good. The only thing that keeps me going is my cat. And that's pretty pathetic.

You've got to hang in there. Phone your local crisis line, if you need to, talk to the operator, as long as you need to. Don't do anything rash.

I'm not a very good person to talk about 'purpose of life' with because I have no idea if there IS any 'purpose of life'.

All I know is that there are things for me that make me smile, laugh, bring me happiness as I know it.
Those things are worth sticking around for... to me at least.

Sorry to hear you are down on life.

I personally don't understand why you say, "The only thing that keeps me going is my cat. And that's pretty pathetic.".
Why can't your cat be something so important to you that you feel like living?
What is wrong with that?

As far as being missed and being unappreciated...

For what it's worth, I figure you of all people could realize that your presence would be missed from here.
As much as we're all strangers, we have formed a bonding of sorts, especially folks like you who have been around a few years.
It's a community.
You belong here as much as anyone else and I believe you are appreciated and even sought after sometimes, here at WP.

Not sure what you mean by pain every day.. physical pain? emotional pain? both?

When you say you are 'just taking up space on this planet'... well... WE ALL ARE!

If you're looking for some greater meaning to your life... you are the only one who can create that.
We create our own sense of worth, as much as we create the feelings of appreciation for what we feel others are 'worth' in our lives.

I do hope you recover from this downtime Hartzofspace.

We would miss you hartzofspace.

You can find support here, and you need to listen to Cockney's advice also. You are feeling things very deeply right now. I've felt like that before. Give yourself permission to take a break from these kinds of thoughts. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. What helps me is filling my mind with positive/inspirational words. Then there is no room left for negative ones to take over. Let us know how you are doing tomorrow.

I know that I have a lot to be grateful for. But at times like this, those things that I count as good, makes the emotional distress even worse. I have nice, kind neighbors, who share vegetables from their garden, and always have a smile and a greeting. And yet I want to end it all. Its like a black cloud over me, obscuring everything in its wake. There's just too many things going on in my life that I can't do anything about. I feel so damned powerless.

You're not alone, hartz.

I've felt that before. Multiple times. But instead of just sympathizing, I'm going to be a symbol of strength for you. Take firmly my outstretched hand, and don't let go until you're comfortable with life again. And even then, stay by my side, and I'll protect you.

I may PM you later.

- D

be careful. dracula is trying to trick you so he can suck your blood ^^

j/k

Don`t give up,a lot of us would miss you.If you want any help we are here for you.

A Dark and Sad topic

hartzofspace, I just saw your two topics here in the forum. This has been a long cold winter. But I read your other topic about what your brother's advice was to you. this was very unsupportive, and not well thought out.

I want to say that you are a wonderful person and one of the few who I have had a meaningul conversation with here. We do not agree on everything, but your words have always been carefully chosen to express difference, rather than the anger I have had whipped at me by some here.

You are a kind, sensitive person. I started crying when i read your opening posts. I hope you will feel better soon. Cockneyrebel had a good suggestion. She is a caring person also.

Please stay with us. We need you here. I am glad you take us space on this WP, and on earth, too.

For what its worth I'm in the same boat as you, my girlfriend is leaving me, and she's even taking our cat. Very soon I'll be all alone, and I dont have a single friend in this city once she's gone.

I'm hardly more than a lurker, but I see a lot of posts. I'd miss you.