My Brother Upset Me Badly

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I am having a really rough time right now. Amongst many problems, is the fact that I ran into a guy who I have had to report to the police for stalking me. Although he never does anything, just the sight of him upsets me, makes me shaky and fragile for hours.

I made the mistake of calling my older brother for comfort, and he totally pissed me off by saying that I had somehow attracted this situation into my life. I was amazed and furious, and nearly got into a bad argument with him. I said if we can attract situations to ourselves, why haven't I attracted the winning lottery number? He went on about some DVD called "The Secret." I felt so hurt and unsupported that I wanted to cry. I wanted him to ask if I was alright, or was I safe, and what steps I had taken, or something Sane. Instead I get this balderdash. I slept very badly, and kept having anxiety attacks about the stalker.

all older siblings are a**holes, it's a fact of life. I always go to my younger sister for comfort.

"the secret" ? F*** that! we watched that in stress management and it's the biggest load of bull crap I've ever seen. Don't ever watch it, it's so stupid, it pissed me off so much. Basically it's about if you think positively good things will happen in your life: which everyone knows isn't true.

If your brother really believes that you can "attract" things to your life then he is a stupid idiot. Im sorry. I just want something to eat his head right now because he believes that c*ck s*it.

I think you did the right thing by calling the police, make sure you get a restraining order as well if you haven't done that.

It's sad that some people are like that, they should be there to comfort their younger brothers and sisters when they need them most, not ridicule them for circumstances beyond their control. I hate that he treated you that way. We're no substitute, but we can offer you some degree of comfort.

I think you should have whatever relationship you can have with your brother, but DON'T ever go to him expecting comfort. Just know ahead of time that for whatever reason, he can't give any to you. You will save yourself a lot of frustration if you don't ever ask for what you won't get.
Do you have a girlfriend who can understand how scary it is to be stalked?

I have certainly realized that I can't rely on him. He's the kind that will let years go by before calling me. I will let this trend continue. Maybe it was better that way. I do have a friend that I have recently started to hang out with. I have mentioned the stalker to her, and she has been supportive. I still feel shaky and depressed...

Oh dear, "The Secret" . Never has such an exciting concept been completely misinterpreted on paper and then mass-distributed around the world *sigh*.

You did not attract these things into your life- contrary to what the Secret says, bad things actually can happen to people who think positively. There was many a positive thinker who died in wars and suffered religious or racial persecution.

((((((((((Hartz)))))))) dont worry, he has just read a book that made him feel self-righteous. I think the way they have presented "The Secret" is a terrible shame because it really is true that you can make your life a lot better by having positive thoughts, but it is not true that you can control things outside your influence.

^^^ Well said.
I've seen people use The Secret as an excuse for not doing anything and wishing for good things. Positive thinking is all very well, but it's useless without action. And the idea that only good will come your way if you just think happy thoughts, and that only bad stuff will happen if you think bad, sad, negative thoughts, is ridiculous. Life is not that simple.

I had a friend who was raving about this book, and she also refused to go to a doctor when she was having some pretty alarming symptoms. She died last week, of ovarian cancer. She seemed to believe the over simplified tripe put out by this book. That alone made me hate the very mention of it. And when my brother starts going on about it, well, that's the last straw.