Autism has cost me a friend, I think

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A few months ago, I got into a fight with a good friend over something stupid...she thought I was making a power play for the presidency of a dance club. (Power play for a dance club? Really?) Well, she and hadn't really talked again, until tonight, when I forced a meeting to try to sort things out, or at least get feelings out in the open.

I found out that she was mad about a whole lot of things, mostly things that are directly related to my AS. She feels that I don't listen (I never look like i'm listening, I don't make eye contact, etc), that I'm self-centered in that I don't notice other people's moods, that other people who live in the house (college house, 25 people) think i don't like them, since I have no facial expression.

I'm really upset because I value her as a friend, but also because I don't know how much I can change...but I don't want to make excuses...I hate that i don't notice other people's moods, and I know that I don't listen sometimes...I just don't know what to do. I try to be ok with being who I am, but sometimes I really hate the autism.

ok, and after having to edit the subject title 3 times in order to spell "autism" correctly, (atusim was the original spelling) I'm realizing how upset I am...

Does she know about the AS?

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I hope she didn't explode your friendship because of what other people think about you though. That's a very crummy reason.

two items:

1) power play in a dance club is Entirely plausible. . . the people where I used to dance spent as much time politicing as dancing, sometimes more. . eeh.

2) Maybe you should tell your friend about the autism, and ask for help? If you really do care about her, then you could ask for ways to show it, and follow through on them. . . things like, you could make a point of doing certain things in conversation, if she thinks they would help. At the same time, ask for her patience with you, which should be easier for her to give if she understands why you need it.