having a hard time

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I cant sleep my mind is not working properly and I am being broken down slowly by my abusive family. To scared to move out because I'm afraid it will only be worse.
Don't know why I'm typing this I guess I just need vent or something.

Don't know the details, but there's people who care how you're doing.

Wishing you the best.

Thanks I guess I typed it so I could see people do care , It gets very hard sometimes for me . It is really bothering me that my mind seems all jumbled and I cant think straight . And lately I have been having trouble making any sense to people when I'm talking to them . It seems to come and go , I'm guessing its the sleep deprivation talking. But I'm not sure and its really bothering me.

I have been so stressed lately I am trying to avoid contact with my family as much as possible . And I cant show any emotion because if I do my parents will try to put me on medication I was in 5 different types of pills 3 times a day , thats 15 pills a day! used to fall asleep standing up in the middle of a conversation, I'm never going back to that.

But if I show my emotions they use it as an excuse to medicate me .

I cant keep all of my emotions repressed like this its eating me up inside , I want to cry when I'm sad , I want to slam my fist on my pillow when I'm mad but I cant do that, not in my house.

they treat me like a child I'm 21 years old. and I can't handle all of the stress I'm under.

I have to keep a smile on my face when my brother starts screaming at the top of his lungs because I asked where he was going.
I have to keep smiling when my sister calles me a cun* and a ho* and a bitc* and a piece of shi* just for singing when I'm cleaning the house. because she says I sing like shi* . I sing very well by the way I have some of my singing on this site.
I have to take my father trying to throw things towards me to scare me, calling me a drama queen and saying I'm stupid. And he beat me every day as a child.

My mothers has emphysema and wont stop smoking even though she is on oxygen already. the nurse said she will eventually die if she dosn't quit, but she wont quit .

This is my life and sometimes I wish I could take a brake but I cant cause I live here. I feel like I'm slowly breaking down.

this site is where I come when I need a virtual hug and I am in great need of one now. I just need to know people care , I know its strange cause none of you know me but It helps knowing people care, even if they don't really know me .

This place give me a shoulder to cry on even when I cant cry out loud , so thank you wrong planet.

just-me, I hope you can find some other working and living arrangements. Being verbally abused is very bad. Are you looking into moving out at this point? Is their anyway social services can help you?

I know, it happens to the best of us sometimes!

I've heard that from more than one source!

I would love to hear your singing Unfortunately the search option on this site is...lacking.


You mentioned you are not sure you could move out.. all I can say is you won't really know until you try it. Just please be careful when/if you do it, please choose an apt. in a safe area (most cheap places are in high crime locations).

I am on mental disability , and only get 400 a month . If I did buy a place it would be in the getto and there would most certainly be a very high crime rate. I've been looking into it though ,keeping a constant eye out for decent places in case one pops up.

I just get very over whelmed sometimes but I'm felling better today, here a link to my singing on the forum

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt63249.html thank you guys for posting comment's ,every once and a while I just get a bit worn down. It happens to the best of us, but unfortunately due to my circumstances I get worn down more often then most average people do.

If you listen to my singing tell me what you think ! thanks.

iv been in this boat. dont do anything confrontational with your parents they could say your harrasing/threatening them and have you locked up in a mental ward. once youg get a mental health dx, your consittional civil and human right are nullified. you need to act fast. do not linger in that house. your parents have all the power so long as your in their house. call up adult protective services(it shoud be in your phone book) and tell them your family is abusising you and has forcibly medicated you and you have a develomental dx and you need to get out immediatly. dont tell your parents your gonna do this. adult protective services is their specifally for people with disabilities, the police may not believe you. watch out your family may stage a confrontation with you in order to have you commited and the police will not believe anything you say because you have a mental health dx.

once your out of that house adult protective services can help set you up with dd services, once set up with them you are guarrenteed food clothing medical treatement shelter and an education and job training.

[b]do not stay in that house one second longer than neccesary.

I was going to go shopping to buy food for my family today. I was asking my sister if she wanted anything from the store , she said yes . She asked me to buy some tv dinners from the store, and I said I wouldn't buy them because I was paying for the food and I was only buying food that was on sale . So she went into my parents room and started telling dad how awful it was that I wasn't gonna buy her the tv dinners. I toled her if she wanted to buy it herself I would pick it up for her at the store. She said that she didn't want to pay for it. Mom toled my sister she should pay for it herself (she is 26 almost 27 years old.)

Then my father started screaming at my mother for telling my sister that. He just kept screaming at her at the top of his lungs, I toled him to stop screaming at my mother, I toled him to scream at me instead. So he turned to me and said "Jessica your a fuc..n A-hole . " I said thank you and only one tear fell from my face as I walked out of the room.

I didn't want him yelling at mom , she didn't do anything wrong but he likes screaming at her like that. Thats why I toled him to scream at me instead. I payed over 200 dollars for food and he calls me an A-hole for not getting my OLDER sister expensive food.

But the worst part is having to see my mom in tears because of it. She was so sad and it was so hard for me to see her cry like that. She said she wants to leave , and if she does I'm going with her. Neither of us deserve this.

She was talking to my other sister on the phone this, (she lives in Ohio) she was telling her how bad dad treats me and my mom , she toled my sister in Ohio that he treats our dog better then he treats us.

I am glad I wasn't to upset about this because that means I no longer care what my father calls me, I no longer need his approval. I just wish I could get out of here, I may call adult protective services like nightbender said and I'll make a back up plan in case things get worse here. I need to use a friends phone to do that so I'm waiting till then.