Do I have an anger problem?

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I bought something heavy and asked the assistant to carry it to my car, to which he answered that I have to request that kind of service at the customer counter. At the counter they told me to bring the car to the gate. After I brought the car to the gate, I went to the customer counter again, and asked what I needed to do now. She stood "busy" with her back to me and time and again would ignore my question. Till I lost it and raised my voice, and when people started taking an interest, she turned around and screamed at me that I had to wait. I asked "couldn't you tell me that before, without ignoring me and then screaming at me?" And I waited. At last, the same assistant who had said he couldn't take it to the car and I had to go to the customer counter came, and took the box to the car. They both told me I have an anger problem.



Then I went to meet someone who has moved house and whose new neighbourhood I don't know. She told me over the phone it was too complicated to explain how to get there, so I looked in the map. When I got there I found it impossible to find the street, so I called her on her cell to ask her, because I knew I must be 1-2 blocks from her house, just needed some tiny guidance. No answer on her phone. Is it too much to ask that if you're expecting someone at that precise hour and the person doesn't know your neighbourhood and you weren't able to explain the way to them, that you keep available on the phone at that specific time of her arrival in case she can't find the house?

I have more of a problem with idiots than anger. Whenever I get angry at the games I play, my parents get angry with me and yell at me, which makes me even angrier. Personally, if someone's angry, the best thing to do is to just lay off.

At least, if she was not answering her phone when I was desperately looking for her house, she could have the consideration of not being angry at me for never making it to her house!! !

Did you arrive at the person's house?

No, I never made it there. You'd think she'd call me by now, but no.

Yelling may have been a little out of line, but seriously, out of all the angry people out there, you're not all that bad.

You may need to work on it a little, but at least you didn't attack anyone.

I don't like posts like this one where people start diagnosing your behavior.
Nothing against them.. and I realize you did ask... but what do any of us know?
Your description means something to you... and probably something else to each of us.

My best advice is this...

If you seem to have this same sort of issue with people, then perhaps it's a communication issue.
You need to take a look at the situation and figure out whether you were not in control when you got upset or whether you were in control when you got upset.

The difference to me about whether you have an anger issue hinges on how much in control you were at the time.
If you truly felt that raising your voice was necessary at that moment.. then perhaps it's not an anger issue.
You say you 'lost it' then raised your voice.
Take a good look at that sentance and decide for yourself whether you were actually in control or not at that time and whether you did what was necessary or something that was out-of-line.

If this is part of a continuing pattern for you... then perhaps you do have an 'issue' about controlling your emotions... specifically anger.

You also mention that the lady turned and 'screamed' at you.
Was the volume of her voice louder than yours?
Was the tone of her voice more angry than your?

By comparing both of your reactions, perhaps you can make more sense of the situation.

Were there other ways to handle that moment?
You did purchase a heavy item and needed help.
They did seem to have a system in place for helping customers with heavy purchases.

Could you have waited a bit longer and gotten a different response from the lady?
Was she being inconsiderate and intentionally ignoring you (as too many people seem to do in those jobs.. from my experience)?

Perhaps you could have used a different 'voice' and still have gotten her attention?

I know I'm asking questions more than offering you an answer... but I don't think anyone here can truly give you an answer about that one particular situation.
We weren't there and so we don't know how you looked (body language), how you sounded, and same with the lady.

If this is a store you're likely to go back to and shop more, I would suggest arranging a meeting with the manager.
I have done this before in banks and stores when I felt like not only were the employees wrong, but I could have handled myself better also.
Speaking to a manager has helped make things less tense and stressful during future visits to these places.

I lost my patience. I raised my voice volume (politely) because I thought maybe she was not hearing me, maybe she didn't mean to ignore me. But she HAD heard me, she screamed when she turned around and finally answered me. So I said (still not screaming or anything): "Couldn't you have answered me before, instead of ignoring me and then screaming at me?" To which she started a loud chain of angry blah blah. When I got really angry was when I saw the same assistant who'd said he couldn't help me was the one who had to be called to help me and I had to wait for. It was ridiculous. Why go through all the hassle at the customers' counter for that?

Passive-aggressive manipulation makes me go berserk. What the two were obviously doing to me was - trying to wear me down so I'd give up on asking for help with the box. They sent me back and forth from one to the other, rejecting, ignoring, yelling at me, so I'd give up at some point and carry the box myself.

I would have to meet you personally to determine if you have an anger problem. From reading your posts and dealing with Dickheads in my own life, you seem like a reasonable person to me. BTW when are you putting the old avatar back?

http://www.royalpottery.com/shop/image.asp?id=3486

velodog: it's a porcelain doll by Giuseppe Armani (RIP), a wonderful Italian artist who made thousands of those very beautiful, elegant women in porcelain. I think you'll love the pics.

I've been meaning to change my avatar, but not sure what to yet.

That's very nice porcelain work. My Aunt brought me back a 10.25" statuette of Aphrodite from Greece that is nice as well. I would post a pic, but don't have camera and need to do homework on posting.

If you don't make up your mind for a while, the queen frog is pretty good also.

I too brought back a small (clay, though) Aphrodite statuette from Greece, and I love it!

Well, I think you handled it better than I would have! I would most likely have lost it at the point where I was initially sent to the Customer Service counter - I can imagine myself giving a really loud, exasperated sigh & going "Oh, for God's sake! This is ridiculous!"

And then later on, when she was ignoring me, I would have said "Excuse me? .... Er, excuse me! .... Ah-hem! EXCUSE ME!! !!"

As for your friend, didn't she have an answerphone? If she had, I would have left a very rude message on it, e.g. "Where the hell are you? I'm in the car, trying to find your house, at the time you asked me to visit you, and you're not at home? Well, forget it!"

So I think you were pretty restrained actually.