MY NT mom makes no effort to understand me

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Mutanatia
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19 Jul 2008, 2:11 pm

I told her once that "I sometimes misinterpret things." So whenever I get into a fight with her, it becomes "Oh, you're just misinterpreting things." Which is parroting back to me exactly what I said, with no explanation as to how I am misinterpreting things. Which doesn't help, and shows me that, if anything, she has a bare, minimum level of understanding and is making no effort to understand me further.

Oh, and addtionally, whenever I get into a fight, it becomes "Are you taking your medicine?" What the h*ll! As if all my behaviors, correct in her view, or not, can be solved by taking medicine! I don't want to take the bloody medicine (Fluoxitine) because most of the time I am happier without it! In fact, I have scaled back my medicine to half a pill! Why, because yesterday (second day taking the half pill) I was HAPPIER! So we got into an argument today, and the first thing she asked was "Are you taking your medicine," which is LOW, really, really, really, really, really LOW! :'( And of course, she doesn't admit that. It's like me calling my brother (when he had a broken leg) a cripple.

She makes NO effort to understand me. I can't possibly understand her, because she doesn't give me an opportunity to do so. I can't wait until I get out of school. Then, I'll move out, and I'm NEVER, EVER coming back to this hellhole. I'd rather live on the street then ever go back to them.



aspiebeauty87
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20 Jul 2008, 11:41 am

*cries* i'm having that same problem it's good to know i'm not the only one but my mom says i don't even try to make effort when i do i'm constantly misunderstood too.


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aspiebeauty87
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20 Jul 2008, 11:43 am

mutanatia, msg me plz i wanna talk to you more :)


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ericksonlk
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20 Jul 2008, 11:53 am

Oh I see... when I used to live with mom... my life was a hell... really! She was the worst thing that happened to me. Now, I am away for 15 years I understand her - just a little part of her behavior. She is a schizo, and I was trapped in her delusions. If you can't handle... move out!


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FireMinstrel
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29 Jul 2008, 10:26 am

My mom does the same thing. She'll fling something I've said to her back in my face. When we argue, she goes after whatever's holding my interest at the time. Video games, a favorite band, a book, etc. I was reading "Atlas Shrugged" the other day, and she tries guilting me into acting more like the characters, where she should know that if I did that, I would have to cut her out of my life and let her starve to death(like one character did with his mother)
Maybe I'll take her advice after all. :twisted:



Catster2
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01 Aug 2008, 9:04 pm

Mum mum says stuff like that all the time it pisses me off and upsets me. I nievely thought that a diagnosis would change how she reacted to me it has slightly but not really she is still always trying to get me to be someone else to be "normal".



vivreestesperer
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03 Aug 2008, 2:20 am

Yeah...my parents do the same thing. Esp the not enough effort part. Hate that



Alaras
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05 Aug 2008, 7:52 pm

FireMinstrel wrote:
My mom does the same thing. She'll fling something I've said to her back in my face. When we argue, she goes after whatever's holding my interest at the time. Video games, a favorite band, a book, etc. I was reading "Atlas Shrugged" the other day, and she tries guilting me into acting more like the characters, where she should know that if I did that, I would have to cut her out of my life and let her starve to death(like one character did with his mother)
Maybe I'll take her advice after all. :twisted:


I actually HAVE cut her out of my life. I don't return her calls anymore, I openly state that she is likely to have Borderline Personality Disorder, and I even volunteered to testify against her in an upcoming court case (not a criminal trial, sadly). I've moved in with my dad, and told my siblings that until they honestly and sincerely reconcile with him, I'm not speaking to either of them (they want to be mom's slaves, then I want them far away from me). She's attempted to kill me before (with a knife), and both physically and psychologically abused me while deriving an almost-sexual pleasure from my pain. In addition, being autistic meant that nobody would believe me if I said I was being abused. If I tried to get away, she'd do her damnedest to get me sent to a psychiatric ward for the remainder of my life. Instead, I've bided my time until I can decisively strike and completely ruin her. I have the best revenge of all: exposing her true nature to everyone she knows.



Aurore
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07 Aug 2008, 12:31 pm

Fortunately I don't have this problem, but my best friend has something similar. Her NT mother was screaming at her over the phone yesterday for misunderstanding her directions. So she ended up having a panic attack and she put her hands over her head and started screaming. We were in the mall so I had to grab her and quiet her down, I felt bad, since she really needed to vent, but they were going to kick us out. So after I calmed her down I tried to talk to her mom, and Ms. Gaztonyi started talking about how K. was doing it 'deliberately' and was being 'a sneaky little liar' when really she was just misunderstanding. I tried to explain how it was hard for us and she had to be more explicit in her directions. But when we got in the car with her she ranted at us for about an hour, and whenever I tried to defend K., her mom would say, 'no, you can't understand, neither of you will ever be able to understand, so I'm not even going to try.'
I knew I was mad because after I left I was using 'NT' as an insult : (
And then she screamed at her for having a panic attack!


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Bozewani
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08 Aug 2008, 6:31 pm

My mom plays the apartheid game.

You will be understood if you do this and you won't if you do this.

I know exactly how it feels.