Another year...

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Well, its the start of another year at university, and here I am... at my childhood home, 10 miles away from school, alone. The text messages I started sending out last night have gone unanswered.

Maybe its for the best. I have some tough courses this semester, all of which I have to do well in if I ever want to go overseas to Physiotherapy school when I graduate from this uni in... I don't even know what year I'll graduate. Its not like I have much in common with these people anyway. I end up depressed whether I hang out with them or not. And the 'evangelicals' are not an option either... most of my family is Catholic so I'd rather not hear about how they're going to Hell.

I used to think it was such good fortune that I ended up around the people in college that I did. They all get hot chicks and are popular, surely that will rub off on me, right? I can shed my nerd skin and have my awesome, confident NT self emerge from within.

A nice fantasy.

But it doesn't seem like its meant to be.

Your frustration is evident... may I suggest that perhaps it isn't the awesome, confident NT self that needs to emerge, but the curious, different, and also fantastic and confident ASD self be allowed to develop and express? Substitution of self is rarely gratifying... and simply being one's self is terrifying, because the outcome is often unpredictable. Transitional phases and ages often have had profound effects on how I developed subsequently. If you'd like to talk sometime, feel free to send me a message or reach me through IM. Be patient, and learn from everything... while it won't cure the hurt, it will allow for trying something different the next time. Take care -


M.