I'm just quite miserable in general.

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tdgkf
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06 Oct 2008, 4:21 pm

Sucks for me.



TheMidnightJudge
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06 Oct 2008, 4:43 pm

Yeah. Is it one of those situations where you just feel sad for no reason? I hate those times.

If it's something specific you can talk it over with us.


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tdgkf
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06 Oct 2008, 4:50 pm

I have few to no friends. I feel unloved and alone.



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06 Oct 2008, 5:03 pm

Yup, i know the feeling.



Prof_Pretorius
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06 Oct 2008, 5:38 pm

Always a challenge. I'm 50, and it doesn't get easier. I know a lot of blokes, and care about them, but as for them dropping by, or calling, it just doesn't happen. ASpies crave some sort of friendship, but we're lousy at being social, and usually crippled by face-blindness. It ain't easy mate.


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tdgkf
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06 Oct 2008, 5:46 pm

And I've wondered about this-- girls. I have fantasies (not sexual in nature) about virtually every girl I go to school with, girls I know outside of school, even just girls I see in documentaries and such. I fantasize about us falling in love, and... well, actually that's about it. But it creates problems, because I feel a connection that I know isn't there to just about every girl I meet, and I'm worried that I'll have a legitimate connection sometime and ignore it because I think it's just another fantasy. I don't think this is due to hormones; like I said, it doesn't involve sex, just love. I've never had a girlfriend, it doesn't seem like I will, and I think I'm just having these fantasies either because I simply want to feel loved, or want to feel like I matter. Probably a combination of both.

Anyway, back to the original point of this post-- is this feeling about the opposite sex common in aspies of my age, or, to make the question specific to you, have you ever felt this way?



lelia
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06 Oct 2008, 7:15 pm

Your feelings are common for your age even in NTs.

I'm female, and in my teens read an article in the paper about how professional men usually don't date in high school (may not be true now) so I settled back and watched all the drama around me while formulating my check list for who I wanted in a husband. I planned to not start looking for a husband until I was twenty-four. Fortunately I found the man who fit my checklist when I was eighteen. I realize now that if I had waited until I was twenty-four, I would likely still be single. I never wanted a boyfriend. I wanted a husband who would be kind and faithful. We've been married thirty-six years now. My 26 yr old son with a good job and excellent personality is still looking for a Christian geek girl to marry. I want for him the same companionship we have had, but it may not happen. Sadly, he often forgets about hygiene, and girls will not be attracted to smelly men no matter how nice they are.



wrongshoes
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11 Oct 2008, 2:35 pm

tdgkf wrote:
I have few to no friends. I feel unloved and alone.

I felt this way for a long time. Then I got married and now I feel like I can't find enough time alone!

Are you putting yourself out there to get to know people?



Tim_Tex
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11 Oct 2008, 2:36 pm

Same here.


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tdgkf
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11 Oct 2008, 2:47 pm

wrongshoes wrote:
Are you putting yourself out there to get to know people?


No.



wrongshoes
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11 Oct 2008, 2:51 pm

How can you expect to be loved and valued if you aren't?



tdgkf
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11 Oct 2008, 2:56 pm

I suppose I can not.



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11 Oct 2008, 6:33 pm

tdgkf wrote:
And I've wondered about this-- girls. I have fantasies (not sexual in nature) about virtually every girl I go to school with, girls I know outside of school, even just girls I see in documentaries and such. I fantasize about us falling in love, and... well, actually that's about it. But it creates problems, because I feel a connection that I know isn't there to just about every girl I meet, and I'm worried that I'll have a legitimate connection sometime and ignore it because I think it's just another fantasy. I don't think this is due to hormones; like I said, it doesn't involve sex, just love. I've never had a girlfriend, it doesn't seem like I will, and I think I'm just having these fantasies either because I simply want to feel loved, or want to feel like I matter. Probably a combination of both.

Anyway, back to the original point of this post-- is this feeling about the opposite sex common in aspies of my age, or, to make the question specific to you, have you ever felt this way?


i don't know why you're worried about never having a girlfriend when you're only 15. i mean, you still have another 10 years before you should start worrying about that.


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tdgkf
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11 Oct 2008, 6:47 pm

It's not that I'm worried about having a girlfriend, it's just that, to put it simply although not accurately, I'm in love with every girl I encounter. It's not something I have control over.

And where I live, everyone (obviously not literally) has lost his virginity by this age. I'm just hoping some STD epidemic spreads around the school so I can say, "Ha! That's why we're always being told to not have sex this young!"