My family do not understand what I'm going through

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How can I explain sensory overload or meltdowns to my family? They know I have Asperger's Syndrome but all they really know is that it affects my social skills. I try to tell them more but the words just don't come out. I have very poor speaking skills, as I've described on WP countless times.
How do I tell them that a lot of noise disturbs me or that I meltdown nearly every time I'm in a social situation? My sister has also been rude to me my whole freaking life. Always correcting me and saying that I don't have it so bad. What I really hate is when she says 'what are you talking about' or 'why say something like that'. Well I don't know b**** it might have to do with me having AS (that's what I really want to say). She has never once apologised for calling me a ret*d. She says she calls everyone that and even says things are gay in a derogatory way. Why am I so offended at her rude personality when no one else appears to be?
Christmas eve and day was the worst time because of what my sister and brother said to me. My mum at the start was supportive but she still yells at me. She was angry at me and angrily asked what was wrong with me but I couldn't answer.
Should I write all my feelings down to them? I just feel so alone and it's my birthday tomorrow. I want to be happy again.

Yes, write it down if thats the best way you can communicate. Provide your family with literature that explains sensory overload, preferably in a way that doesn't require them to read a whole book.
It sounds to me like your family genuinely doesn't understand AS and if they did they would be more supportive. Remember that you have to advocate for yourself, you can't expect other people to be aware of your problems if you don't help them understand. Having allies in the form of therapists or teachers to explain it to them would be ideal, even a friend - but do it yourself in writing if you have to.
As far as your sister goes...she just sounds like a teenager. We with AS can be sticklers for proper manners and conduct because sometimes its all we have to go on. NT folk are much more aware of how sincere someone is - comments like 'ret*d' and 'gay' aren't meant to be taken literally in the context of 'teen-speak'.
I hope you have a happy birthday. Maybe it would be a good time to bring this stuff up, as the attention will already be on you.

I tried to explain to my mother too, but it's difficult to explain what of your behaviour is AS related and what is not.
She didn't get the point, basically refusing the idea and thinking it was a kind of excuse. Luckly i found someone else outside the family to talk about it. I wrote everything down, and with that starting point i managed to explain very well what asperger means. Just knowing that someone else (who is not forced to understand, as in "not a family member") knows how i feel, really changed me. At the beginning it was very difficult: i could only make jokes about autism, just to throw it in the discussion. Then, one of that paranoy days, i just felt too bad and asked if she could dedicate an evening to me because i needed to talk to someone, and wrote my feelings down. when she read she couldn't believe, but with the support of written words i made her understand, and now i can tell her everything, also thing i never told anyone and never wanted to. Knowing that someone else knows is a very powerful mental hook, now i don't care that much about my family understanding, because at least with one person i can be fully myself.

Thanks. I did write to them. My mum is more understanding and even knows why I don't want to go out at times. My sister and brother I'm yet to hear from.