Why Other People Care Only When They Want Something From Me?

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It's always like that. Everyone is so kind and sweet only when it makes them feel good and when they need something from me, but when I really need them they are not around... Anyone else experiaced it? Damn it! I always suffer alone and there's no one to listen or to help me in my toughest moments... People are just selfish creatures, that do everything just to please themselves; they do not care about anyone else! I hate this! Once again - I have to struggle alone with this huge world which I can't understand and with emotions which I can't comprehend...

Why? People are selfish opportunists. Once they find someone willing to help them out, they will exploit that someone endlessly for their own gain. That's just the way people are.

Don't let them take advantage of you any more, because while it is true that anything worth doing is worth doing well, it is also true that anything worth doing well is worth being paid well to do!

That is exactly what I ment. I couldn't possibly find better words. But the point is - that despite realizing this, I am still so naive... I still bound with others and let them take advantage of me... I hate myself for that! Why do I keep doing this? f****n hell, I hate myself!

Kindly re-read your own post. It basically says you are mad because you aren't able to exploit others like they exploit you.

Now don't get me wrong. I totally understand where you are coming from. What you are observing is humanity. This is what humans are about; they use each other for personal gain. It's really ugly isn't it? This is what relationships and marriage are about too. One person uses the other whether it be for a roof over their head, money, free sex, someone to do the snow shoveling for them, do the laundry for them or someone to sit with them at the movies.

If you want someone to listen to you there are two choices. Just talk to us on WP because we are a free captive audience and some of us have empathy. Or #2 is go to a psychologist because in this world you basically have to pay people to listen to you and care. And yeah its really insulting to see my psych bill insurance $160 a hour to listen to me whine.

Ain't true. I am sad, because I always help others when thay need it, but then when I ask them for help - they just don't care.

And I hate myself because despite of this suffering I experiance, I am unable to end it all for good... Because of hope, because of naivity... My brain is well messed up. I feel purposeless and worthless

You're saying the same thing. People exploit you for your help, but they don't care to return the favor. People use you, but you are unable to use them and this is what has you upset. But this is what people do, or at least NT's. They like to use someone for help, but they don't like to help others. Sorry this is how most humans are and there is nothing we can do to change this.



What you are expressing are signs of severe depression at least according to the DSM ie: wanting to end it all, feeling purposeless and worthless. Can you get a psychologist to do cognitive behavior therapy with you? This might help. I'm not one to recommend psych drugs so I won't. But its been studied that something as simple as exercising or walking in nature will change brain chemistry and eliminate depressive moods. Can you go sit in the woods or by the lake and watch the animals? Seriously this does a lot for me. And go lift some weights or ride a exercise bike or jog or something and get some endorphins pumping through your blood stream?

Sorry its hard to help another person so far away. If you were here I would just say I'm coming over to pick you up then we'll go to a movie or something then stop at the Coffee Bean and sit and talk for awhile. Maybe it would help if you spell out to us why you feel worthless and purposeless. Maybe we can offer solutions to that. And also consider the exercise and nature recommendation because it really does affect mood.

Yeh, I love trees and animals... Unfortunately the closest woods are 20 miles from here and it's middle of winter, so it wouldn't be plesant anyway...

And that is what makes me feel even more like alien, cuz I'm nothing like that. I am naive and honest like little child...

Ticker you make a good point. I am often exploited due to my naivety, and I also feel upset when others don't pay back the favour. ReGiFroFoLa I know what you're going through. Let me give you an example. In school, a particular person, seemed to expect me to help him with work when he needed it. I was more than willing to help. It felt good to help, and I thought I was earning someone's friendship and trust by helping out.

I missed a few days because of ilness, and when I came back I noticed him studying for a particular subject. I found it odd that he was studying for a subject, while we were in a practical class which had no relation with what he was studying. I asked him, 'Why are you studying are we writing a test on that?' (fearing I might have missed the announcement due to my absence). He replied 'NO". I found out the next day that we were indeed writing a test on that subject.

Over the next few years despite this, I still helped him when it was possible. I now realise that by helping him I did the right thing, whether his help was there or not.

Hope you feel better....

Yeh, I've had situations like that alot... Thanks for Your response, Blue

I remember people being mean to me when I was growing up and then all of a sudden they be nice to me. I found it real confusing so one day I started a thread about it here and I was told it was called passive aggressive behavior and it's something that bullies do because they want something from you so they will be all nice to you. Then when they get it, they are mean to you again. It drives me crazy when someone is mean to me and then nice and then mean so I don't trust them. What do they want from me? I think I will just say something to them to set them off again. That's what I like doing to one of my bullies on here.



But my question is is it passive aggressive behavior if you are mean to your bully back but then all of a sudden they are nice to you, so you give it back to them in return?

I tend to be nice to anyone, especially to my enemies just as long as they are being nice to me.

I quite clearly understand what ReGiFroFoLa is saying because the same s**t happens to me, especially in my family. I have given help, support, transportation, money to them but I never get anything in return. It's not just family either it's other people. I help them out of the kindness of my heart but yet I don't get any acknowledgement. Yeah it makes me sad.

Yeah I don't know what the answer is to that one. Like my stepmom hated me when I lived with them she even told me I was going to die soon because she heard voices in a tree say so. She even threw me against the counter hard and broke my ribs. Now days she gives me money whenever I see her and says things like "honey I love you" and last time I saw her she gave me $100. I don't know whether to think she is going to try something again or if she feels bad and is trying to buy my forgiveness.

Did you ever ask her why is she being nice to you and giving you money?

That's true, my family hurts me the most too... And I don't understand why... I have no respect for them all...

No I haven't because I don't like talking personal to her about anything. I don't want to open up old wounds either. I don't really "speak" to her except when I visit no more often than once a year due to the traveling distance. My dad emails me and occasionally phones, but she doesn't normally converse with me via those means other than Dad says that she said hi to me and that she loves me. Her biological daughter never visits her and she lives only a state away so I think that probably says something like she is just trying to buy my affections or whatever since her own daughter hates her. At least I sent cards and acknowledge her whereas my stepsister whom I've never met by the way doesn't even send a birthday or Christmas card. She gives her daughter money too from what I understand.