Our friendship is dead.

Post Reply New Topic

It took me a long time to get around to posting about this, because for a while there I was too angry to talk about it. But I want to hear the interpretation of people who have AS, because I simply do not understand what happened.

I have (or perhaps had) a friend whom I strongly suspect of having Asperger's. He shows most of the symptoms and is often so honest that he's unintentionally hurtful. He also can be intentionally rude and abrasive when he's in a depressive episode and wants to isolate himself from people so that he can brood in peace. But generally he was nice to me, until this November.

In fact, we became very close over the summer. He was more depressed than usual, and though he sometimes was distant with me, he wanted my company two or three times a week and dragged me to his gigs so he wouldn't have to be alone.

In autumn, we kept up our regular meetings... I suppose because he'd become used to having me around. But he gradually became ruder and ruder, and would snap hurtful things at me more often than before. I wasn't behaving any differently and I don't think I provoked him in any way.

And then I had an accidental overdose. He happened to drop by that day to see what I was up to, and found me shaking and staggering and unable to recognise him. I was clearly in danger and I can't imagine he didn't know the situation was serious. It would have taken him 30 seconds to alert the authorities, but instead he just turned around and walked away.

Sometimes I'm not good with people myself. Sometimes I want to run away and hide when they do things I can't predict. But even I would have the presence of mind to call for an ambulance when someone is in danger of dying. All I can think is that for some reason, he didn't care whether I died or not.

Help me to understand what was going through his mind, because I don't want to believe that he's just a bad person.

Well, do you regularly use various drugs with him? Speaking for myself, I don't like hanging out with people when they're intoxicated to the point of incoherence. Unless you specified that you weren't feeling well he probably didn't see it as an OD but just as you tripping out, and probably felt like he had better things to do then hang out with you when he assumed you wouldn't be able to remember anything that occurred or provide entertaining company.

Enjoy his company if you like, but when it becomes a bore or you get fed up with the insults, ditch him.

He doesn't deserve to have friends if he treats them like that.

I would have presumed recreational drugs/alcohol and NOT alerted anyone else because of that.

I'm sure he would've called an ambulance if he thought you really were in danger.

Sinking of a friendship topic

Though I am no expert on friends, I do have medical training, and if I saw someone acting stragely and shaking I would ask if the person was all right and offer help.

I guess I have always held the role of Aspie to the Rescue, and i cannot imagine being otherwise.

He knows that I don't drink, do drugs or smoke.

I was not lucid enough to say "I am not feeling well." I was not lucid enough to recognise familiar faces. From the way my housemate (who found me) described my behavior, it would have been clear I needed help.

well, cut the ties then.

He might have just panicked. People are allowed to make mistakes, sometimes. Not that I'm condoning him; it's just that no-one knows what went through his head except him. You never know, he might be feeling really bad about it now.

I've ended a couple of friendships in the past. It bothered me for two weeks, both times, bust I got over it and moved on.