this is a rant, i just need to get my feelings out.
i've been feeling so apathetic and blank lately, i can;t get anything right, my emotions are going haywire, i'm not depressed but i don't see a point in living, i haven't been quite happy for a while now, i've been staring into nothingness all day long everyday, i have no more goals at the moment, i just want to lie in bed, fall asleep and never wake up again. everything feels so pointless, it's like my body still does every bit of routine but my mind is numb, i don't want or need anything, i feel like i'm going back to my suicidal period again, i see no point, perhaps i'm just not worthy of existing i don't know, i empty i don't know and i don't want to know, i don't even hate myself for that. i don't even get it that people say they'll be sad when i'll die, i know i'll be sad when others die i just don't get why they would be so for me, what is the point for my existence it's not like i'm important, everything i do goes wrong, so i stopped trying, the endless routine society offers me, just bores me, i want to get out but i'm too young, why can;t i just die.
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don't try to take me away, like i can live without you/today making love tomorrow/some way swooping you're so fragile/died today you disgraced the model.
