I effed up :(

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Ok guys I just lost 900 dollars. All because I can't talk to people. I didn't turn in my 30 day notice to my landlord because I was afraid of confrontation. I literally stood outside their door almost 6 times frozen and sweating. I do this all the time. I am always to afraid to tell someone how I feel or that I'm doing something. I basically lost the 900 dollars to avoid talking to them!! ! I'm such a pushover just because I can't stand up and say my opinion.. I'm also stuck on ramen noodles and bologna for 3 weeks because of this . I seriously need some help. I know I could of just "MANNED" up but that's my problem I can't. I always tell myself your gonna do it this time, if it's talk to a girl I like or even tell my landlords that I'm moving I just can't do it. I'm feeling really stupid and down because of it right now......

yeah it's a bit of a problem for aspies the 'can't say no' thing.

could you have mailed it in?

I could of dropped off a letter but I was afraid of them coming to my apartment to talk to me.. They have done it before. They did it when I first signed the lease to bring me my copies. These are some landlords that come talk to you when something is up. They also lived on property. So yea lol. I turned in a letter the day before I left...

This is going to sound pretty stupid, but it does work:
Pretend to be someone else in these situations. Pick a character from TV, a movie, a book, a cartoon, whatever, and be them. I do this at work a lot so I can deal. I know it sounds crazy, but it you're pretending to be them and adopt their personality, it actually works.

Hell, I'm role playing a cartoon character at work, it can hardly get weirder than that.
Go for it.

Hydra, why don't you role-play yourself over to the nearest church and ask for help? I'm told they have more to offer than "ramen noodles and bologna" to down-and-outers like yourself. Let us know what happens.

Zghost's idea is great re: role playing.

Also, can you write a letter in advance, nicely edited but assertive? Just to back up your point. What exactly is the situation? You may have a legal case to get your money back, if the circumstances are right.

In the mean time, a church may be a good place to go. A Unitarian, UCC, Episcopal, or Catholic might be best (IME, for compassion sake).

we really suck in this department, don't we?

Well it's my fault. Since I didn't give a 30 day notice I lose my deposit and have to pay an extra months rent. It's a TN law. Landlord renters agreement thing. As they have to give me 30 days before my eviction and vice versa. And I was just to chicken to go talk to them or even leave a note because I was afraid of having them talk to me.

And I am an ex christian btw. My friends got me into a church and I was in it from 7th grade to my senior year. A year after leaving I gave up on god. It's a bunch of crap to me no offense to anyone who is religious. But I'd rather avoid a church all together. I can live off bologna and ramen. There's more needy people out there then me.

Anyways I'm going to try this role playing thing at the gym at my new apartments. I'm usually to afraid to go work out thinking people will laugh at me or something. I have a couple of pounds I want to shed and maybe this role-playing won't make me so self conscious.

First of all note the positive in your last post. You are going to the gym in your new apartment. Well done, for that is something I couldn't do. That is great!

Secondly don't beat yourself up about not giving sufficient notice. I have lived off of semi cooked pasta and I am still here. It sucks, I know but your last couple of posts are far from defeatest so you are doing good.

Role playing is good with strangers as it provides a buffer from the real you being hurt. I have grown out of this to a degree, but I have found, as I have gotten older, that my mind allows me to be myself without fear of rebuttal.

When you find yourself in this situation again, remember the ramen noodles and the s**t feeling from not standing strong and you will most certainly give yourself a kick up the a**.

Hope this helps

Later Later