upset by talk of neighbour

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I go walking with my neighbour he is 43 so was brought up in thr 1970s a fair bit and today he started crapping on about how it is "wrong" that kids aren't spanked/smacked anymore. The more he said it the more it upset me I am STRONGLY against smacking or any other form of physical discipline I beleive children deserve more protection not less. That does not mean I dont beleive in punishment or discipline but there are other ways anfd hitting is not one of them. He kept saying a "little smack on the arse" never does anyone any harm the more he said it the more upset I was getting because it did me a LOT of harm I get scared when people come behind me, relive being hit often, am scared of touch. Even today I was feeling upsrt and tense just talking about it and I am 29.

I tried to explain that whilst it may not have affected him it did affect me. He was kind of making fun of it saying stuff like oh I am scarred for life. It is banned in nearly 30 countries for a reason even in aus where it isnt banned these days it is rarely practised. I dont beleive in jailing or fining parents or criminalising them but I do beleive in educating them against smacking/spanking you cant kit your husband or wife so why can or should kids be hit.

I wouldn't go walking with your neighbor anymore. If he knew it made you uncomfortable to hear his opinion of child abuse but kept right on winding you up wtih it is just as abusive as smacking a kid on the arse.

he sounds like bad news.

Merle

I always agreed because I was hit, but if I was responsible for them I have no idea how to stop them from doing bad, destructive, and dangerous things if they don't listen to NO.

Don't go walking with him, anymore. He has no idea what he's talking about, either. I was smacked as a child, and it did do me harm. I almost ended up in the psych ward, 11 years ago, because of the memories of those spankings.

I don't know about long term psychological harm (did it do me any? How could I tell?) but I do think it's poor parenting. It basically teaches the child that the result of a disagreement is that the strong person hurts the weak person until s/he gets his or her way - that violence is an acceptable method of dispute resolution. There's a lesson that will get you in trouble later in life!

Actually, now that I think about it, I was disciplined by violence as a child, and had to be removed from playcentre (a co-operative early childhood care thing they used to have in NZ) because I was hurting the other children. So maybe it did do me some short term psychological harm?

If it's as a last resort, when time-outs, etc, haven't worked, then maybe that argument doesn't apply, though.

And anyway, sounds like this neighbour was being a bit of a dick, but maybe he was just trying to be funny? I'd say give him the benefit of the doubt, or give some back by talking about how all men are bastards

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Diagnosed but unconvinced... I reckon I'm just a rude and arrogant wierdo

Maybe the neighbor is really trying to tell you he wants you to smack him on the arse. People who are powerful and dominating in public can be very submissive in private. Picture the rich banker who wears women's underwear under his suit!