I hate jealousy.

Post Reply New Topic

I hate the way it makes me feel and I hate the way it makes me act. I think that it only exists to make humans do bad things. It is also rooted in insecurity.

Right now I think i no longer want to be romantically involved with anyone. I think there is a rule that when you are in a relationship, eventually it will reach a point where if you care a lot for them, inevitably they would rather be with someone else, and it they care for you then you will want to be with someone else....

I want to be on neutral equal terms with everyone. I think I should break up with my secondary boyfriend in order to make way for him to find a real girlfriend, and I want my primary partner to find someone who likes being intimate with him. I am horribly no good in that department for him.

My secondary lately has been having the roving eye, and has been telling me about it. I want to be able to handle it, but it has not been going well. I hate myself for feeling jealous. We do have an open relationship. I don't get mad when he sleeps with other people or tells me that he has made out with other people....but when he says he is planning on it, then I sorta dread it.....Also it is not fair that he should have to be beholden to someone who lives with someone else. Also, i am short and kind of fat and he weighs as much as a skinny teenaged girl. He should be with someone who is thin...especially since that is the body type that he prefers.

I have no room to be jealous since I have a partner that I live with.
I should not allow myself to be used just because I am convenient for him...
I should keep a low profile to allow him to make way for a real girlfriend who would get to see him more than once a week, which is our arrangement.
We can just be friends.

Nice to hear.

Jealousy...oh what a b***h that can be -
nothing good comes of it and small things
gets blown up to riddicolous sizes - often
its a bi-product of insecurity and jealousy
and love dont mix well, is a trainwreck
waiting to happen - it an emotion with
little or no use in todays world. Its a
troublemaker, not much more

Add alcohol, and it is all the worse....

As long as you believe that people belong to each other, you will suffer from jealousy.

Once you fully accept that people only belong with each other, and then only by mutual constent, then you will find that your jealousy has evaporated.

Stop treating your mate as a possession, and start treating him as a free agent.

Good luck with that.

But I don't believe he belongs to me at all. I don't believe that about either of them. Nobody belongs to me and I belong to nobody.
I wish the best for him..
I am horribly ashamed of these ugly feelings I have been having...

He deserves to find somebody better than me.

Also I have such a rotten theory of mind...I have no idea what lousy company i must make for him.. I am always making him angry when I am just joking....

it is a bad sign.

I will always love him, and I will always be his friend...but I should not let myself be vulnerable to his own actions and decisions...

And I should take my own advice instead of hoping that magically, things aren't as bad as they seem.

I envy those who have never been jealous.

Yeah, jealousy is terrible. It would be nice to just get rid of it as it does lead to bad things.

I am cool.

I miss him...

he has spring fever...

everyone thinks I should be happy for him if he finds a new girlfriend...

no mind to my having been so fixated on him for the last many months...

I am a rotten rotten person...

I hate myself for being so bad.

I wish that my brain were male enough that I could find myself so totally attracted to anything that came along....and also things would be easier if I was not physically such a little troll.

Olivia, why do you stay with him? He's cheated on you a lot; I remember you starting two threads about this before over the last year and a half. But maybe he has a quality that is all you care about, or maybe he has more redeeming qualities to make up for his cheating. So I won't judge your relationship. But I am curious as to why you stay with him.

I am talking about my Other boyfriend, PSA...Me and Flakey are Polyamorous...that was the alternative to my leaving him.

I have two boyfriends. Flakey, and my friend PSA...I mentioned him on our trip to the menil..he was my friend who was afraid to go into the museum, and then later when we were photographing the squirrels, he was, unbeknownst to me lurking across the street...he didn't come over because he thought that Adverb was Flakey from a distance....not that they don't get along..


I stay with Flakey because he is my business partner and my friend. I am at a point now where I wish he would find someone besides me to be romantic with and I would stay his partner and friend. He has his other girlfriend, who he cheated on me with, but they don't get along a lot of the time. I just don't feel very romantic towards him at all.

PSA is sick of only getting to see me once a week at best..and wants to find real girlfriend.

I can't blame him, but I will miss him...

There is taking responsibility for your feelings, and there is being just plain too harsh with yourself.

I think if you were considering someone other than yourself, your assessment would be more generous. So please, be nice to you.

Being happy for someone who you genuinely want the best for, does not require that you do not feel sad for any loss this might entail for you. You can feel both these things, and in my view, neither your feelings nor your conduct merit shame.

Wow; so me and Adverb almost play a part in this too!


I would like to meet all of you again and meet PSA!


I would like to hang out with all of you all the time but I don't think Adverb likes bringing Lars out to gatherings "because he might cry all the time or squirt poop across the room". I don't see why that has to be, though. He would get plenty of attention from everyone and we would have his food and extra diapers on hand, so why would he cry?


And right now I'm in Canada besides.


I didn't insist on coming out because I love Adverb and didn't want to inconvenience him or make him do something he doesn't want to do, but I never did argue my point with him about why Lars wouldn't cry on our outings.

You could always hang out with him in one of the other rooms if he cries....

I have very childlike emotions that I can't easily process and I can't control very well. I can get caught up in repetative worse case scenario thinking

I had a particularly rough time while he was on vacation because before he left he had been getting angry at me over little things and talking about being with other girls...in a way that was somewhat troubling...and so I was beating myself up over being troubled by it because I am not supposed to be.

but he is back, and he is in a good mood...and I was able to work myself out of my funk...anyway...first and foremost we are friends.

Out main rule is that he can't stop being my friend just because he gets a real girlfriend.

Hopefully I mean more to him than that anyway...and part of my retardation is that I just can't see that....I am not very good at acknowledging reciprocal affection...