I can't keep going....

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I have been struggling for over a month now. My partner of sixteen months left and took her son whom I had raised as my own for all but one month of his life. Turns out she left for what are traits of having AS. She has been very strict no contact since she left. I had a full range of tests done on me and tomorrow at 8:30 am I get the results back. I realized today that it is pointless. After she left, my only friends went with her. So now I am all alone and I realized that no diagnosis is gonna make them consider talking to me again. I have been told to have hope but every time I have hope it gets struck down. I have been told "You have so much to live for" but when I try and come up with what I never have anything. I ask what is the point of continuing and I come up with nothing. I look across the table at my family of blood and I get a father who ignored me, a mother who beat me or threatened to leave anytime I "misbehaved", a sister that made fun of me and a brother that raped me. I look across the table at my family of choice and it is empty now that S and company left. S and her son and my family of choice was all I had in this world and meant everything to me. Now my home is just a house, my table is empty, my life is filled with pain instead of joy and no question has answers... and I know that these things will never mend and now there is no point for me to keep going... Why wait till tomorrow when the pain can end today?

Don't do anything stupid - there is always something just round the corner you should live for. It is tough sometimes I know, I spent much of my first year of A-levels at school threatening to kill myself to my mum because I felt so depressed and helpless. I am now so happy I didn't cos I have had so many great experiences since then.
Trust me, don't be stupid, there will always be someone who loves you, whether you actually know them or if they are here for you in this special online community we have here where we're all in the same boat

Well, if it helps, i feel pretty much the same way and am isolated from everyone, i dont know what keeps me going everyday, but something does. Hang in there, it's hard i know , but hang in there.

you said it. Life is supposed to be like this, how are we suppose to learn what means most to us and gives us the most joy, and from what I can make out of it you're a natural born father and that is something no one can take from you, the s**t you've suppressed and overcome in your life and now you're going to let THIS beat you down... give it some hardcore thought a real Aspie mind session and let in some light. Most people are cowards and run for their lives from responsibility, but for you it's a heartbreaking event when it's taken from you. You sir have character!

You might not care, but it would be a f*****g shame losing someone as strong as you and the history you've had.