Emotions and reacting to them?

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Well, it's me again, however this time I'm not complaining about my symptoms, no this time I'm in need of aid with making a choice. Nothng has changed in the hell I'm living in, inwhich I'm sure many others are too, and I have tried to be the "nice guy" for far too many things for far too long, and I'm done; I'm not going to be a persons freind any more, just to be used, I'm done feeling and caring only to turn around and get spit on, I'll give leeway to my parents they really have tried hard, but others; no more! I know this probably isn't the first time a topic like this has come up, but I'm really serious about this, everytime I feel my house creek real bad I'm just hoping it crumbles me, each time some bad driver is swurving around in his lane I can just see it crashing right into our car and instantaniously crushing me, and I don't feel fear in these situations, not to say I would put my self into harms way just to feel, but if I can't feel fear, happieness, or content; what's the point of feeling, no one loves me except my parents, but I can only say they do because that's what I hear, it doesn't feel that way, haven't had a freind in I dont know how long, and I havent in my whole life ( or so I can remember ) had one girl even want to just maybe consider me a freind of a freind, or any thing of that extent; I can feel pain, but it seems to be getting more faint everytime; I taste blood in the back of my throat, when ever my mouth is empty; I seem to not care if my hair is messed up, heck I'm ready to shave it bauld, it doesn't mean much to me except the fact I have to dedicate more time to it so it looks proper; i'm not to consider suicide, to me it's feels like the wimps way out, the pathetic loser way out. There so many other reasons why this fork in my life is aloof, but it be nothing more than a waste of my time to type all of it out, I think you pretty much get the picture.

I'm not going to tell my parents or doctors, this a personal disition not public, however this community still means alot to me, so I ask of any member that has the time to read my post; What do you think, Im fed up with patronizing to this world, but I would like to know what you guys think?

Pardon spelling, grammer, ect......

Hi, NomadicAssassin. I'm sorry you're feeling so much despair. It'd be easy for me to tell you not to give up on other people, but it sounds like you've had a lot of bad experiences that have brought you to this point. I think it's significant, though, that you're still reaching out to people from the WP community to ask for their input into your decision. I think you still want and need friends, you've just had trouble finding the right ones. There are some good people on this site, and there are good people out in the wider world world, too. Maybe you shouldn't stop looking just yet, even though things are tough. What do you think? I really hope things improve for you. Jenny