This Guy Bothers Me for No Reason!

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This guy that my friend's friend knows at school calls me a "fa***t" for no reason. I didn't do ANYTHING to him I swear, except hang around my friend daily. My friend talks to his friends for a bit and they are alright except for this guy. So he told me to go away the first time I was hanging out with my friend and I didn't and told him "it's a free country, I can be where I like." Appearantly he finds the way I talk very gay. Whenever I go around him he calls me a "fa***t" from now on. My friend said he isn't his friend but is his friend's friend. But he never defends me. I just ignore him to spite him, and haven't said a word for FOUR MONTHS. BUT HE STILL CONTINUES! What do I do now?

I'm starting to worry that I act like a fag. Yes, I am gay by coincidence, but that doesn't mean I act very feminine. It's just my voice isn't very deep.

The best response ever, perhaps: "I am more man that you will ever be, and more woman than you will ever get."


M.

Oi. This pisses me off. If this behavior continues...are you in school?

Are you bigger than him? Sometimes physical violence is an answer.

You might mention to him that there is scientific research showing that homophobic people tend to have secret homosexual feelings:

(click the text for link)

It's not so much the truth of it as it is a means to give him some of his own medicine.

Oh and his comments likely have nothing to do with how you act at all. Bullies say things like that in order to make people doubt themselves and feel insecure. It's all a psychological game (although he's likely unaware of it himself). Maybe the above research will make him feel as insecure as he really is.

Now hey, he's being a phobic prick. You have done nothing wrong.

Violence may be a solution, but it isn't the answer. If it is happening outside of the school proper, then there isn't much that can be done by the administration to handle the issue. Reactions feed the behavior, at least in my experience - the more you allow it to get to you, the more it will continue.


M.

Thank you all for the replies. I just read through them and found them very comforting/helpful.

I got that as well because of my voice. I hate jerks like that.

I really loathe all the hatred of homosexuals in our culture. I'm not even sure how awful that must feel.

The kids who say 'fa***t' possibly do so because they associate it with intimidation and learn to use it instinctively.

While the word "fa***t" refers to homosexuality, it has evolved into a general put-down, not necessarily having anything to do with homosexuality. Are you sure this guy was really accusing you of being gay, and not just of being "different?"

Don't take this lightly, I am 38 and still have nightmares about getting bullied and beat up at school for being gay. Deal with this now and in an adult way.

A fist says a thousand words But actually if you could beat him up it'd definitely stop him calling you a fa***t, as no closed-minded bar-stad like himself could admit he was bet up by a gay guy

Are you in high school? If you are, you could tell him that, people like him end up getting shot. Or just ignore him, the guy probably doesn't have many friends himself and is probably a loser.

You can file a criminal compliant against for harassment. Since he keeps calling you the other f-word, he may be charged with a hate crime.