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I use to have a magical rock. It was not a Pet Rock. I was its Pet Child and it allowed me to grant it wishes. It was one lucky rock. I was four. How could I say no to a rock?

I didn't just clean my glasses

I clean my glasses every day when they get grimy.

I guess I'm just that sort of poised, well put together person. Glasses always clean. Clothes always neat and tidy. Always know where my towel is.

I'm a stoic, mentally fit Brit. Nothing makes me cry. The last time I cried was when I was 18. Rule Britannia!

It’s not cold today

I keep up with all of the things I want to do. I never fall behind.

I am neurotypical

I'm an all-round great guy, you can come to me with anything, and I'll respond with a smile and probably a solution to your problems.

I'm having an early night.

The Boy Who Cried Wolf
In short.

A boy runs into the village crying "WOLF! WOLF!"
The town's people run out of their homes, making all kinds of racket..
They follow him to where he last saw the wolf.
There is no wolf in sight.
They go home dissatisfied.
This repeated twice more. Each time, ending with dissatisfaction.
There was a fourth time. He ran into town, crying "WOLF! WOLF!" and no one came.
This time the town's people did not rush out.
The wolf was not scared off by their racket.
The boy was pounced on and eaten.
The town people said, "It serves him right, lying to us like that."

I do the BBC every time I'm at the library.

A strawberry is a type of vegetable infamous for the fumes of ammonia it produces during the winter.

That's why I don't like them

Please don't say bad things about strawberries. I hold the patent for strawberries and the copyright for their name. I have enough trouble already around them...I'm having trouble getting people to buy straws big enough for a strawberry to go through them

I'm as healthy as an Ox.