What's on your mind right now?

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constantly horrified of getting made redunant, getting hit by a car, getting scammed, getting raped. things like that

constantly terrified i will do something wrong

"not everyone gets the same consequences"

constantly overpowered outnumbered outsmarted

nothing seems worth the effort

i've been wounded

it's the beginning of the end

but oh well. i'm 42 years old and that is already really old and it's obviously apparrent for a long time that i am not going to accomplish anything worth the "carbon footprint".

disrespected, underappreciated, misunderstood

angela d and juan m keep barking @ me to sweep faster

sleep difficulties

emotional overeating

litterbox

i feel like i'm on a waterslide with a pile of feces @ the end.

nothing i do is good enough

cravings gone haywire

lonely and bored

hate and fear everyone and everything

bored of everyone and everything especially myself

annoying lil cockroaches.

I am very sorry about all of that, shortfatbalduglyman.

You have an awful lot to contend with.

You are very hard on yourself.

I have learnt things from reading your posts. And felt like I have understood the world a little better. You are sincere and insightful. You are working so hard. I am glad you are here.

I wonder if I get Lego for Christmas

Where is the love

Neighbours, loud and right in my face 24hrs a day.

I should crank the heating up

At the moment, I don't feel like consuming coffee.
And just stick to soda or something...

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

It'd be weird to have a different face

Sometimes I wonder if my mother would have actually had a boyfriend after divorcing my dad, had she not told every new man she met about me and the stupid AS. My parents were in a loveless marriage and I always wanted to see my mother being loved by a man, so I really urged for her to have a boyfriend (or a new husband). But one day, when she'd had a date with a police officer whom she invited round to the house while I was at school, I found Tony Attwood's Asperger's syndrome book lying on the coffee table. I knew what that meant. My stupid diagnosis was probably the first thing she told him about and it must have been a deep conversation for the book to be involved. So no wonder the guy probably ran off, as he might have envisioned getting involved with a woman with such baggage as a problem child.
My sister had learning difficulties and my brother had depression, but because my sh***y diagnosis was fancier, it had to be revealed to everyone we met.
"Oh I have three children; a son and two daughters. Oh and one of the daughters has this thing called Asperger's syndrome". I hated being the kid with the f*****g embarrassing label that nobody else in my family or my class had.

I wish I had an appreciation for the more recent TV shows. Than I would have something to talk to people about.

on February 12 of 2020 I wrote a fanfic called Deep End inspired by the song by Ruelle. This year on October 12 I started a my second novel which also happened to be called Deep End it is also inspired by the song Ruelle. Totally unrelated to the fanfic. Deep End is the 12th track on Ruelle's album. Isn't that a wild coincidence?

Octopuses don't know it's Christmas

Just updated my Windows 11 laptop. Charging my Apple macbook air laptop.

I wonder how much food will be wasted over the Yuletide