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IsabellaLinton
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20 Mar 2021, 8:05 am

despair

What are the signs of Covid?


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PhosphorusDecree
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20 Mar 2021, 8:11 am

Hair in the palms of the hands, memory loss around the time of the full moon, and inexplicable violent deaths in the neighbourhood.

How is spaghetti made?


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IsabellaLinton
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20 Mar 2021, 8:14 am

Shite. I best call an ambulance, then.


Spaghetti is made by putting a block of ghetti through a woodchipper, and pasting the bits of spa back together, into sticks.

Should I stay or should I go now?


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maycontainthunder
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20 Mar 2021, 11:30 am

Bless you.

Is TV really as bad for your eyes as Monty Python claimed?



PhosphorusDecree
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20 Mar 2021, 7:33 pm

It's not as simple as that. TV can cause your eyes to swell to an enormous size, like several feet across, which actually improves your vision a lot. But if you overdo it, they can burst.

What do you write in a birthday card to someone you don't know very well, if the card already has "Happy Birthday" printed in it (thus robbing you of the most obvious choice)?


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auntblabby
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21 Mar 2021, 8:28 am

your dog barks too much.

same q.



maycontainthunder
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21 Mar 2021, 8:48 am

CLEAN YOUR YARD

Same q



auntblabby
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21 Mar 2021, 9:01 am

stop parking on my property.

why aren't cowboy movies called "easterns"?



maycontainthunder
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21 Mar 2021, 11:00 am

Because they would have to be communist.

Same q



auntblabby
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21 Mar 2021, 5:40 pm

because back in the day they'd have had to be called "ersterns" [the way eastern seaboard folks talked back then].

why are electric bikes so GD expensive?



PhosphorusDecree
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21 Mar 2021, 6:27 pm

It's mainly the plutonium you're paying for.

How do helicopters work?


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auntblabby
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21 Mar 2021, 6:31 pm

very well, most of the time.

how do airplanes work?



IsabellaLinton
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21 Mar 2021, 11:09 pm

They have a good union.

How to clean those hard-to-reach places?


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auntblabby
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21 Mar 2021, 11:12 pm

with elbow grease and a long brush with cleaning spray

how to prevent death?



IsabellaLinton
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21 Mar 2021, 11:14 pm

Duh :roll: :



Repeat forever. ^


How to beat anxiety?


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auntblabby
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21 Mar 2021, 11:16 pm

with a big club made of xanax pills. about the head and shoulders.

how to beat pain?