The man vs bear meme

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I've never been keen on memes me

It still shocks me when basic human decency is lacking to such an extreme extent. Of course, I live with this stuff every day. I don’t really know what it’s like anymore not to carry this weight. Progress IS a challenge when so many people refuse to see that there’s a problem because it’s more comfortable to believe that there isn’t one.
There’s often some premeditation going on to limit the extent a person can resist. In abusive relationships that include rape, there are different modes of control, like financial, religious, threats, blackmail, etc. Most people know about fight, flight, or freeze, but there’s also feign / fawn / appease. Sometimes people don’t fight back because they are doing what they think they need to do to survive in that moment and / or overall. Every situation is different. Sometimes people are so beaten down they don’t have any fight left. When folks say that people should’ve fought back, left, been more aware of red flags, or called the police, victims hear: “It was your fault.” Such noise typically comes from a place of ignorance, but it’s still harmful because it places the responsibility on the victim rather than the perpetrator.
Yeah, I must admit that I’ve wondered about that myself. A guy I confided in once actually asked me if I enjoyed it. The same thing happened to Elizabeth Smart when she went on a blind date with someone. I’m not sure what needs to happen in order for people low on empathy to understand / get it / relate. It is good that more people feel like they can talk about it, but rape myths and stigma are still prevalent. In my experience, rape is degrading, humiliating, scary, and painful. It’s not like sex.
It’s worrisome when people take discussions of abusive folks personally. Instead of care or concern about actual abuse people experience, they make it about them despite constant reassurance that it’s not ALL men. It’s utterly absurd. If someone does have a negative attitude about all men due to their experiences, such treatment would be unlikely to change it. While I think empathy is more of an innate trait, some people could work on compassion. I’m not just referring to WP but to people in general. Society needs to be a more welcoming place for survivors.

If people were more compassionate, maybe fewer women would prefer to be alone with a bear in the woods than a strange man.

I hate any advice which begins with the word "Just .... " The advice for victims to "Just leave!" is reductionist, ableist, and sexist against women. It suggests that abused women are subservient or dependent chattel who reside in men's homes with nothing to lose by leaving. Even if that were true, it's not easy to leave when you've been threatened or had your children's lives threatened, when you're tracked on GPS, and you're afraid for your life.

Most women and/or their children who are murdered by the woman's intimate partner are killed during her planning or actual execution of the escape.

The rhetoric of "Just leave!" causes secondary wounding. Not only have women been abused but then they're portrayed as vassals who should just walk out the door because they can't possibly own the mortgage or the property themselves ... on account of being female. What if the woman owns the house or holds the lease, and can't get the MAN to leave?

What if she owns a house and doesn't live with the offender, but he's committed to stalking and otherwise harassing her? Does she as victim relocate into hiding and lose everything including her support system, or should the justice system perhaps get off their collective arse and do something to remove and try these problem men?

I forgot to answer this. I'd pick bear unless that man was me However I would also pick bear over her being in the woods with a strange woman or for myself instead of being in the woods with a strange man or woman.

^ What’s your point?

Yep, that is correct.

https://domesticabuseshelter.org/domest ... lationship.

I had to get to the point where I didn’t care if I lived or died. My life was a living hell, and I couldn’t bear it any longer. It’s hard to get back into that mindset. Things were precarious for a while. That’s for sure.

Dismissive comments or those which make light of trauma in any way suck. Secondary wounding causes a lot of harm. It’s usually more about ignorance than maliciousness though.

I think the video is kind of a reverse-gender thing. Maybe the woman with the nail in her head is supposed to represent abusive men who want to talk about how bad things are for them, without doing anything to fix it.

nevermind...i shouldnt be posting on this site...its just not good for me...farewell...but be sure to check out the Arts forum for my dope ish...yall know how i does

*hugs IsabellaLinton, TwilightPrincess, babybird, blitzkrieg, Rebel and funeral...if i left you out...you get a hug too*

You don't have to leave. The video was funny.
I'm just not sure how it fit with this topic.

you're awesome!...no, it has nothing to do with this thread...more to do with my personal life and psyche...sorry for clogging up this thread

*hugs* for you too, ocean.

If you do take a break from WP, I wish you well!

Farewell, and thanks again for your supportive messages, Ocean.

I am sure he's a Russian man.

The fact that guys will see a meme about women being assaulted, and respond with a meme about how mean or annoying women are, is exactly why women choose the bear. If a woman runs away from a bear or expresses fear of bears, the bear doesn't go around on social media telling everyone how awful women are, growling about "not all bears", or how unfair it is that their species gets unfairly judged just cos SOME bears maul and kill people...