Post a blatant lie

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i can't help if if i make a scene, stepping out of my hot pink limousine.

i'm turning heads and i'm stopping traffic, when i pose they scream and when i joke they laugh.

I dread the day when robots take over toilet cleaning.

i don't want to participate in a war against robots

I have infinite patience

I enjoy having a great sense of impatience.

I won't regret making my latest post on this thread.

Time ended.....

...yesterday.

the person below me is a woke-azz niBBa whomst'd've lives in his timbs.

I have finally found myself proper employment!

I sleep in till noon.

I never heard of an untrustworthy used car salesman.

I am a trustworthy used car salesman.

I do not like bonbons.

bon bon bon bon

sweeter than reason.

better than reason.

sweeter than reason

better than reason


sweeeeeter.....

Yesterday I planted some magic beans and this morning they grew into a giant beanstalk. I climbed up the beanstalk and at the top there was this huge castle. I went inside and there was a giant, who was crying his eyes out because some kid named Jack stole his singing harp and his goose that laid golden eggs.

My cat Mischief had gotten some fleas, so I had the vet shrink me with a laser beam. After searching the furry jungle that is Mischief's back, I came upon some fleas just lazing around, and walked right up to them and said, "Okay, you guys need to get off of Mischief. You're making him very itchy." One of them asked, "Who or what is Mischief?", and I answered, "He's my cat that you guys are staying on." The fleas all just laughed, and one of them said "That's hilarious! Everyone knows cats have been extinct for ten million years! Next you'll be telling us something really crazy, like the world is round or that people have been to the moon."

They did end up leaving since I made them laugh so much, but I guess if I were them, I wouldn't have believed me either.