If I found out I was adopted...

Page 2 of 3 [ 44 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3 Next

AMD
Sea Gull

Joined: 18 Sep 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 221

20 Nov 2009, 12:20 pm

I wasn't adopted, but i do have a step dad. He has been there since i was 6. A father to all 3 of us. My biodad, i don't even know him. I know where he lives, i know he is on FB, but i refuse to contact him. My mom says he is bad news. He is the sperm donor and that is it! I would like to know of our roots, medical history too, but that is it. Might be a different story if he was wealthy and was on his death bed tho?! LOL!

_________________
This could get long...

StewartMango
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 8 May 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 258
Location: Brick, NJ

21 Nov 2009, 3:12 pm

My cousin was adopted and he doesn't give a crap who his birth parents are, and he is VERY happy with his family that adopted him.

I think adoption is GREAT!! ! If I had to have children I rather adopt a poor little orphan then make a new person.

_________________
I'm Nicole Marie Doherty, the creator of Stewart Mango the cartoon show.

www.stewartmango.com

SpongeBobRocksMao
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,774
Location: SpongeBob's Pineapple (England really!)

21 Nov 2009, 6:10 pm

I'd feel awful if I was adopted. It would feel as though I kinda lived a big lie. However, I'm not against adoption, and in fact I think it is good too.

_________________
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBobRocksMao!
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
SpongeBobRocksMao!

Giftorcurse
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina

24 Nov 2009, 10:23 am

Jesus, why does everyone have a positive view of adoption?!

_________________
Yes, I'm still alive.

CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,093
Location: In my own little country

24 Nov 2009, 12:39 pm

Ouch! That must be hard. I have an idea how you feel. I have a friend who's adopted. He feels cut off a bit, because he doesn't know his genetic family history, so he doesn't have a sense of where he's from. I really hope that you come to peace with this, one day and that things get better for you.

_________________
The Family Schlager

Giftorcurse
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina

24 Nov 2009, 1:14 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:

For your information, I'm not adopted.

_________________
Yes, I'm still alive.

shirochan
Blue Jay

Joined: 26 Sep 2009
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 78

24 Nov 2009, 9:37 pm

Quote:

If I found out I was adopted...

...then my suspicions would be confirmed.

Giftorcurse
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina

29 Apr 2010, 5:49 pm

Shastania wrote:

As an adopted child, I feel I should throw my two cents into the ring.

As a child, I always felt alienated and out of sorts for seemingly no reason whatsoever. Growing up, I couldn't understand why I felt this way-like I was somehow crow barred into my family. I'd always suspected I was adopted from the moment I became old enough to understand the concept, largely because my adoptive mother and I are the only people in the ENTIRE family to be born with green eyes.
I was also confused over the fact that everyone in my family was fair-skinned, blue-eyed and dirty blonde whilst I was sallow/freakishly pale, green-eyed and had almost-black hair.

When I eventually turned nine, I asked my mother outright if I was adopted after seeing a program about adoptees reuniting with their birth parents. She was 100% honest with me and my brother (who is also adopted) and fully explained how she had adopted me at 7 months after having three sucessive miscarriages.

Initially, I was relieved to have an answer to all my internal questions but as the hormones started going mental when I hit puberty, I used the fact I was adopted as a threat to my mother during arguements, saying she had no autority over me as "she didn't give birth to me".

It took a few years of soul searching before I came to realize that even though we're not related by blood, my mother is the woman who adopted me, who protected me as a baby, the one who kissed my scrapped knees, told me off if I was bad or cuddled me if I cried.

Sounds pretty stupid to resurrect a dead post, but I thought about coming back here.

Shastania, that post just reeks of sentimentality.

_________________
Yes, I'm still alive.

CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,093
Location: In my own little country

29 Apr 2010, 6:50 pm

If I found out that I was adopted, I'd be happy that my real mum had me, instead of getting an abortion.

_________________
The Family Schlager

Eggman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Jul 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,676

29 Apr 2010, 7:18 pm

yes what horrible people to take a child, that dosnt give their genes another generation of existence, and to love and care for that child. What awful people theyt are

_________________
Pwning the threads with my mad 1337 skillz.

Giftorcurse
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina

27 Jun 2010, 12:39 pm

What I'm saying is that adoption does not meet the overly benevolent criteria that is so often portrayed in the media. Look at the movie Juno, which I absolutely hated: she gives her child away to some crazy pedophile chick just so she can be with Bleeker. What's worse, it was a secret (closed) adoption, meaning the kid is going to be lied to the rest of life, none the wiser. Need I say "lowlife?" Also, adoption seems more like a way of making children into commodities. "White male baby, fresh from the womb! Get it while it's yucky!"

_________________
Yes, I'm still alive.

RainSong
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 May 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,306
Location: Ohio

27 Jun 2010, 2:53 pm

Is there any particular reason you hate adoption so much? You seem to have an undue amount of anger towards it when, by your own admission, you weren't adopted. You have the opinion of someone who was adopted, and you decided to dismiss it as sentimental.

Juno was a movie. In my opinion, it was an annoying one, but to others, it was great. But no matter what anyone thinks of it, it was fictional. It was not a real life event. It's like that blasted CSI series; no matter how many times they pretend it's real, it's not and there are huge inaccuracies.

Closed adoptions does not necessarily mean that the child will never know he/she was adopted. They might not have any contact with their birth parents, they might never know anything about them (including their names), but the adoptive parents can choose to tell the child that he/she was adopted.

Sure, some people adopt for the wrong reasons, but others don't. What about people who desperately want and love children but cannot have their own due to health issues (be it their own or something they'd likely pass down to a biological child)? Do you just say, sorry, sucks to be you, hope it works out next life? If they have the resources and desire to care for a child who might otherwise not be cared for, why not let them adopt?

You're not going to find any one set of people who are always right or always wrong. Biological parents aren't necessarily going to love a child, or raise him/her well, or provide basics like food and shelter. Just because the kid was inside the woman for nine or so months does not mean they're going to be good parents. Or maybe they would love the child but cannot provide for one and would rather see him/her go to a family who can.

I see no reason to hate adoption.

_________________
"Nothing worth having is easy."

Three years!

Giftorcurse
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina

27 Jun 2010, 6:08 pm

RainSong wrote:

Is there any particular reason you hate adoption so much?

I hate it out of sympathy for people whose lives were ruined by it.

RainSong wrote:

You have the opinion of someone who was adopted, and you decided to dismiss it as sentimental.

I was being truthful. It was a sob story.

RainSong wrote:

What about people who desperately want and love children...

Outwardly...

RainSong wrote:

You're not going to find any one set of people who are always right or always wrong. Biological parents aren't necessarily going to love a child, or raise him/her well, or provide basics like food and shelter. Just because the kid was inside the woman for nine or so months does not mean they're going to be good parents. Or maybe they would love the child but cannot provide for one and would rather see him/her go to a family who can.

Got me there.

_________________
Yes, I'm still alive.

pbcoll
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Feb 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,892
Location: the City of Palaces

27 Jun 2010, 10:22 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:

RainSong wrote:

Is there any particular reason you hate adoption so much?

I hate it out of sympathy for people whose lives were ruined by it.

There are plenty of people whose lives were ruined by their biological parents. And I personally know someone who was adopted and has no issues with it - and is certainly better off than some people I know who were raised by their biological parents. Some adoptions actually succeed, and some biological parents fail. On a practical note, what exactly do you propose society do with orphans, or children abandoned by their biological parents or who had to be taken away from them? Throw them to the wolves?

Quote:

What I'm saying is that adoption does not meet the overly benevolent criteria that is so often portrayed in the media. Look at the movie Juno, which I absolutely hated: she gives her child away to some crazy pedophile chick just so she can be with Bleeker. What's worse, it was a secret (closed) adoption, meaning the kid is going to be lied to the rest of life, none the wiser. Need I say "lowlife?"

Yes, some people adopt for the wrong reasons. Likewise some people get pregnant, or get someone pregnant, for all the wrong reasons (in other breaking news, the Pope is still a Catholic). Your point is?

Quote:

Also, adoption seems more like a way of making children into commodities. "White male baby, fresh from the womb! Get it while it's yucky!"

In the real world, the vast majority of children available for adoption are not 'perfect' white babies.

_________________
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)

El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)

I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).

Blindspot149
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Oct 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,516
Location: Aspergers Quadrant, INTJ, AQ 45/50

27 Jun 2010, 10:58 pm

Wombat wrote:

A guy I knew was in his mid teens when he learned that his "older sister" was really his mother and that his "parents" were really his grandparents. Talk about a kick in the head!

This one took me a few seconds to figure out :!:

I can think of several possible solutions to this 'puzzle' but I won't bore thread readers by listing them.

I might go through the math (alone) some time when I can't find a good Sudoku puzzle though :wink:

_________________
Now then, tell me. What did Miggs say to you? Multiple Miggs in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say?

IdahoRose
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,801
Location: The Gem State

28 Jun 2010, 12:36 am

I know for a fact that I'm not adopted, but hypothetically speaking, if I ever did find out I was adopted, I would be a little sad that I wasn't blood-related to my parents, but I'd be happy and thankful that they had loved me and raised me as one of their own. I wouldn't seek out my biological parents, because they obviously didn't care enough about me to stick around.

Page 2 of 3 [ 44 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3 Next

Jump to:

If I found out I was adopted... Post Reply New Topic

If I found out I was adopted...