People talking behind your back...

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About three years ago, I worked a job in retail. Being retail, the employees consisted of myself and a handful of other young women. At this time, I did not know that I was autistic, so my self-awareness and especially my awareness of others (theory of mind) were each quite poor. I was nice and always polite, if not particularly social, yet they obviously didn't much care for me. One day, I overheard a couple of them talking about me, saying very mean and untrue things. I found it incredibly surprising and hurtful, not to mention confusing (why would you be mean to someone who treats you kindly and respectfully?). I left the job unceremoniously a couple of days later as I was unable to handle it at the time. It was a pretty horrible experience for me, but very eye-opening and eventually led to my unofficial autism diagnosis (the experience left me concerned about my ability to get on in the world and I saw a psychiatrist and therapist in search of assistance).

So, in the end, it was good. If such a thing were to happen now, I would still find it surprising and a little hurtful, but I would be more sad for the people doing the talking, because it would be a reflection of themselves, perhaps of low self-esteem or simply stress.

This reminds about back in 4th grade, I always heard kids talking about me and they would talk when I be around. I hated it and then I decided when I was older, "ah screw it, who cares what people say about me and what they think" and have been happier ever since.

Well at least I can say is at least they had the guts to talk about me with me around where I could actually over hear them.

This crap makes me feel like I'm becoming a paranoiac. I am never sure if people are trying to subtly hint to me the ways that they perceive me, or if they are just making value-judgments out loud by talking about habits they find distasteful. It's as if people are constantly exercising their intuition on one another.

My ex was extremely good at this. Every utterance he made was some kind of multi-layered commentary. He was too good at this, verbal voodoo s**t. He would derail me and everyone else constantly, and I was never sure who/what he'd been talking about by the time I came up with a response. He was like a ninja of wit. I left him feeling like I'd been chopped to bits.

I wonder what the troll and attackers are saying about me in the chat room, right now?

I hate being talked about behind my back - unless they say it to my face first so at least I can defend myself or at least change what is the thing they dislike.


Though a few friends say to me I don't care what people think of me - this worries me because I don't actually know what people think of me.

Still... ignorance is bliss.

In my earlier post I think that I could have misunderstood this talking
behind back as in reading all your posts it seems to me this
talking behind backs is always negative. I wish someone could have pointed this
out as I feel like a right idiot.

I want people to say anything they think of me to my face instead of behind my back.

I feel so f*****g relieved that I'm no longer in secondary school. Especially a single sex one. Girls are such b*****s

I don't care if people talk about me behind my back.
But i'm so un-noticable no-one would bother.

I have been told I didn't care what people thought when really I just had no clue I was being made fun of nor understanding what I was reading. This is internet I am talking about.

Yeah ignorance is a bliss in this case. You also gotta love that trait about yourself. Being oblivious to people about their actions. At least they won't get to you.

I honestly could not care less what any one says about me behind my back. I mean they aren't the who matter to me so why should I care?

I would probably ask them "What is Up?" and if that didn't work I'd put them into a headlock and give them noogies until they cried.