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The "I'm not a hugger" thread.

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Asp-Z
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13 Dec 2011, 5:25 am

It depends on my mood and who I'm with and stuff, but generally I dislike hugs.



Bosun117
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13 Dec 2011, 9:38 am

When I was in high school, I got in trouble for hugging a girl. Apparently the hug wasn't welcome (this was back when I couldn't read social relationships as well). I've been wary about hugging other people, aside from family, ever since.



Lecks
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13 Dec 2011, 9:49 am

MrXxx wrote:
Huh. I'm surprised at how many are okay with virtual hugs but not real ones. Is it odd that I feel the same about both? :shrug:

I think I'm actually more uncomfortable with the virtual.

Virtual hugs are not actually hugs, though. To me giving someone a virtual hug is like saying "I care about you" or something light-hearted like "come 'ere you raskal" but my issue with real hugs is the touching part, so maybe therein lies the difference between us. :)


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MrXxx
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13 Dec 2011, 3:28 pm

Lecks wrote:
MrXxx wrote:
Huh. I'm surprised at how many are okay with virtual hugs but not real ones. Is it odd that I feel the same about both? :shrug:

I think I'm actually more uncomfortable with the virtual.

Virtual hugs are not actually hugs, though. To me giving someone a virtual hug is like saying "I care about you" or something light-hearted like "come 'ere you raskal" but my issue with real hugs is the touching part, so maybe therein lies the difference between us. :)


That probably is the difference. At least with real hugs there's more to be "read" in them. I can tell more easily how "intimate" or "non-intimate" the intention is behind it by virtue of how it's done. I don't care for it when it's not invited or unwelcome, but at least once it happens, even if I didn't want it, I have some idea of how it's meant. There is no way for me to know what the real intention is behind a virtual hug, or, if I'm the one giving it, no way to know how it's really being interpreted by the recipient.

It's that lack of knowing that's even more uncomfortable for me.


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OneStepBeyond
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13 Dec 2011, 3:38 pm

virtual hugs are a bit cringy



identity
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13 Dec 2011, 3:47 pm

MrXxx wrote:
At least with real hugs there's more to be "read" in them. I can tell more easily how "intimate" or "non-intimate" the intention is behind it by virtue of how it's done. I don't care for it when it's not invited or unwelcome, but at least once it happens, even if I didn't want it, I have some idea of how it's meant. There is no way for me to know what the real intention is behind a virtual hug, or, if I'm the one giving it, no way to know how it's really being interpreted by the recipient.

It's that lack of knowing that's even more uncomfortable for me.

I see what you mean. I was going to ask if you knew why you felt like that.

Lecks wrote:
Virtual hugs are not actually hugs, though. To me giving someone a virtual hug is like saying "I care about you" or something light-hearted like "come 'ere you raskal"


Yes this is the way I treat them too. :)


As I have already said in my ealier post I sometimes do really want a real hug, but even then it tends to feel uncomfortable. So either I haven't found anyone I feel comfortable enough with yet or it will always feel like that with everyone :roll: I hope not though.



Lightning88
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13 Dec 2011, 4:36 pm

As a kid, I couldn't stand getting hugs. Now I'm starting to get used to them because people I know insist on hugging me (got two hugs on Saturday alone), but I don't give them out. I'm not a lover.



lilbuddah
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13 Dec 2011, 5:52 pm

I am absolutely not a hugger, never have been a touchy feely person. Last person who hugged me ended up with a black eye(oh frak, not like that, I hit him in the eye, flailing in mid panic attack. I'm not a violent person).