Your Favourite Simpsons Quotes

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Lisa:Look dad, in febuary it is summer, in september it's cold.
Homer:Yay, we're going to opposite land
(I don't remember what they actually said)

Martin:(he liked the melted snow with salt)...from our good friend Sodium Chloride.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.


Marge: Homer, you don't have to pray outloud.
Homer: But he's way the hell up there!


Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him!


Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

Homer: Would you like a Piggyback...I mean a Veggieback ride?

Lisa: Yes, please.

(after blowing up a church)

Marge: "Homer! This is the worst thing you've ever done!"

Homer: "Oh, you say that so much it's lost all meaning."

the simpsons on their trip to london

Homer: Well Marge, you gotta admit, I've been on my best behavior this trip.
Marge: You punched out three people on the street.
Homer: That was over soccer results. Can you believe they gave Giggs a yellow card in the box?!
Marge: Do you understand any part of what you just said?
Homer: I understood the word 'gave'… unless it means something else in this country!

Homer: Marge, I'm going to Moe's, send the kids to the neighbors, I'm coming back loaded

Homer : Hi... ummm... let me have some of those porno magazines... large box
of condoms... a couple of those panty shields [quickly] and some
illegal fireworks [back to normal] and one of those disposable enemas.
Ehhh... make it two.
Marge goes through Homer's purchase. "I don't know what you have
planned tonight, but count me out."

[homer] - I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T, I mean s-m-A-r-t!

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[homer] - I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart kids!

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[Carl] - Look at homer

[Lenny] - Yea, he's riding in on of those robotic cars

(Car Crashes)

[Carl] - Yea, one of those american robotic cars

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[Maude] - Neddy, make this thing move!

[Ned] - I can't! It's a GEO!

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Homer watches the three stooges on television

Moe is there leader.

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Homer sits in the tub, his brains talks to himself

Pick a bar, pick a bar

... What the hell is pick a bar?

[Homer realizes pick a bar is pick up bart and runs out of the house in the nude

[Lisa] - Dad! Cover your shame!

[Ned] - Hey Homie, I can see your doodle

[Homer] - Shut up Flanders

""Mmmm...donuts!"

I love the s-m-r-t quote by Homer and these also:

Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Homer: I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.

Bart: "I'd like to talk to Amanda Kiss."

Moe: "Just a minute" (turning to customers at bar) "Is Amanda Kiss here? Where's Amanda Kiss? Why can't I find Amanda Kiss?!

Barney Gumble: "Maybe your standards are too high."

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Bart: "I didn't do it."
________________________________________________________

Bart: "Aye Carumba."
________________________________________________________
Homer: "Look, there's a new Mexico."
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Homer: "My name is Mr Burns."
________________________________________________________
Mr Burns: "I bring you peace."
________________________________________________________
Wayland Smithers: "Well in that case: I love you, sir."

Mr Burns: "What?"
________________________________________________________
Beeman: "No es buano."

How did I never noticed this topic before? And Tim_Tex hardly posted in here neither?

Anyways, a few on top of my head:



Homer: "Kids, you tried and you failed miserably. The lesson in this: never try"


Homer: "Trying is the first step towards failure"


Nick Riviera washing his hands prior to Homer's bypass operation: "These gloves came free with my toilet brush"


Ralph, trying to chat up Lisa: "So, erm, do you like... stuff?"


Homer: "Haha suckers, I already brought in my tax form last year"
Lisa: "Dad..."
Homer: "What is it, honey?"
Lisa: "That was last year. You have to do it this year again..."
Homer, after a long silence: "D'oh!"

The spider pig song

Spider pig
Spider pig
Dose whatever a spider pig does
Can he swing
From a web
No he can't
He's a pig
Look out
He is a spider pig!

Homer: Marge, if you can leave me alone a moment, I am busy getting some financial independence here...
Marge: With cans full of grease?
Homer (sarcastic tone): No, through savings and wise investments... (normal tone again:) Of course with grease!

You know Bart makes these prank calls to Moe's Tavern right? There's this one episode where Bart has the power to get people to do whatever he wants or something. So cut to Moe's Tavern, Moe answers the phone, then calls out 'Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt. Oh, wait a minute...'

"Why you little."
"Mmmm...donuts."