Advice for parent of 8 year old?

Post Reply New Topic

Last I've checked, this isn't a medical board.

No...my mom goes with the ADD diagnosis. My little brother was absolutely horrible as a child. ADHD x 10!

I believe that he has Asperger's too. He shows the same symptoms as my son. They are two peas in a pod. Struggled in school but extremely intelligent. Both can sit there and play a video game the first day it's out and beat it. They lose all track of time.

Mom is finally seeing the symptoms too but still has a hard time accepting that her grandchild could have autism.

Then quit playing doctor - Haloween was last month. The reason there are issues in this world with bad treatment for people is because of asshats like you playing doctor.

I'm not a big fan of meds but they helped him make it through the 2nd grade with A/B honor roll the entire year. I watched my little brother with ADHD and couldn't imagine him not being on his meds.

Do they fix everything? No. Do they cause side effects? Yes. You have to weight the options. If he has Aspergers & no ADD (misdiagnosis) yes he will eventually come off the meds. (hence being weened off) If he has Aspergers & ADD we'll have to see what works.

I have real life experience with psychology. People have issues no matter what and I wonder what your real issue is. I'm giving her my honest opinion about ritalin based on personal experience. Have you ever been on ritalin?

Yes I have been on ritalin - but I also realize that:

1. You have not seen this child for one second.
2. You are not educated in psychology or have not proved as such.
3. Medications work differently for different individuals.
4. An uneducated person who is not aware of the full situation giving medical advice often causes more damage then good.

and you are getting pissy for other reasons.

I also realize those things however this person knows they should consult their doctor but are asking advice on this messageboard. You acting like a jerk is doing what exactly?

Then why are you stating the above? You do not know if the child is in danger. Your basing your oppinion on your own experience with a medication and puting a life in danger because of it.

His doc is the same doc I had when I was little. I trust him completely with his decisions regarding meds.

You are repeating one sentence and failing to show that I also wrote about her speaking to the doc about taking the child off of drugs.

Sorry but drugs are not life support. She will have to speak to her doctor about taking her child off of drugs. I'm allowed to share my opinions. If you don't like it you are allowed to share that opinion.

You told her to take him off the drugs and said the child was in danger. So shut the hell up. Your just another one of those a**holes that tells people that all medications are worthless. So shut the f**k up and f**k with your own head, not with others you piece of s**t.

Maybe you are right. I am a piece of s**t for my opinions and concern of children being put on ritalin. If you are the poster boy of someone put on ritalin...I rest my case. I don't care much for your pissed off antics, for all I know you could be 15 so I'll refrain from name calling but I'd like to share this.

My mom can beat up your mom!

This is just my advice as a parent with 2 children with ASD that's had to go through something similar to what you have. You can take it or leave it.
The first thing that I would do in your situation is to request that the school do an evaluation for AS, and other learning problems. You can also use what the doc says when you get your son tested on the 30th, but the school CAN do an evaluation for special ed services. It's always best to put it in writing that you request an evaluation. (It's always best to put all communication with the school in writing) There's a difference between a medical dx, and an educational diagnosis. I realize that you feel funny listing all of your sons quirks, and habits, but the docs, and the school need to know what you're (as his mom) seeing. No one knows him better then you.
He may need a para in the classroom to help him stay on task. My son needs a picture schedule, though your son may need only a written schedule. It's important to ASD kids to fully understand when, how much, and what's next when it comes to work. If he's fully informed, he may be way less defiant. He also may need to have full access of a "take a break" space. This is a quiet, place where he can go to calm down when he's overwhelmed. It's vitally important that he returns to the activity that he took a break from when he calms down, otherwise he may use this as an excuse to avoid work.
If it were my child, I'd ween off of the meds, and start fresh with the knowledge that you've gained knowing that he's AS. Modify his environment, start behavior plans, those kinds of things. Use meds as a last resort.
BTW, please back off of his weight. I was a very thin child, and teased by my peers for it. I'm a girl, so you can imagine what it would've been like as a guy. Keep an eye on his nutrition, and praise healthy choices, but not weight gain.
This link will help you to understand how to deal with the school, and what your rights are if you decide to take that path: http://wrightslaw.com/

I'm not on him about his weight. He's always been little and his dad is little. The doc recommended putting him on the drink because he wasn't eating enough. The school did say they would give him an evaulation but everything is a very slow process. I've been told he would have speech therapy. Here it is 3 years later and it still hasn't happened.

Since I am not a physician I cannot advise you about the meds your child takes . I would say that perhaps you need to do some research and express your concerns to your family physician or even several physicians . There is some difference of opinion in the treatment of children such as your son .
Several traits you should be looking for so that you may better understand your son :

Lack of empathy and detachment from emotional connections with his peers . This is readily picked up on by other children and often leads to an affected child being ostracized by his peers . Often this leads to a domino effect of worsening relationships with other children and actively anti-social behavior . This is not easily remedied and if this is present you need to explain to him that he needs to be overly conscious of this trait he has . He will also need to understand better why other children react to him as they do . He will have to examine his own actions and adjust his behavior because he wants to , not because we want him to .

Obsessive knowledge acquisition in limited areas . If present , this trait may manifest itself in later school years and beyond . This is not necessarily a bad trait . Much scientific research is conducted by individuals with this trait .

Having a sensitive and well developed opinion of truth and non-truth . I call this the 'BS Meter' . If he seems argumentative and disruptive in reacting to obvious non-truths (rolling his eyes at the mention of Santa Claus would be an instant clue) he may need to adjust his reactions to his BS Meter going off . Again , he needs to be aware of the situation to do anything about it . I don't mean to alarm you , but , he may feel a deep resentment toward you for 'lying' to him about things that are considered part of a normal childhood . These feelings are not easily expressed by younger children and may even be suppressed to the point that he does not understand why he acts in ways that are detrimental to him . On the upside , if these feelings are exposed and discussed between you and him , he will likely move beyond those issues and resume a more 'normal' development . Usually i detest the term 'normal' when applied to humans , but in this situation his actions are so far away from the 'norm' that moving him in that direction is probably a good thing if possible .

A distinct lack of saying the right thing at the right time . Younger people with Asperger syndrome often say the 'craziest things' and often are out of cadence in a conversation . In some instances this is caused by a person thinking much faster than the person he or she is conversing with . He may often find himself at the logical end of a conversation halfway through and get mentally tied up trying to get back to the here and now if the conversation moves in an unexpected manner . He may also simply have difficulty following conversations due to an inability to prioritize his current thoughts versus the need to concentrate on the conversation . Does he continue doing whatever activity he was involved in during what should be considered a 'serious' conversation ? If so , he will need to learn focus more on the thoughts and feelings of others during conversations .

I think it is important that he is more aware of the situation concerning his behavior . If he will not stop and think about his actions you need to start asking "Why are you doing <insert any anti-social behavior>" and force him to evaluate his actions (which often have no logical purpose) and understand the effects of his actions . Do not accept "I don't know" on a regular basis .
It is my opinion that there are many facets to your son's behavior . Medication may help with some of the symptoms , but there may be underlying circumstances that are beyond the control of medication . It is up to you to guide your son through the not always pleasant process of moving from being a child to being an adolescent . I would warn you that by the age of 13-15 the 'die is cast' and modifying one's personality becomes much more difficult . Good luck and I hope this was helpful .

He gets the reaction from other adults "what does that have to do with what we're talking about". He does blurt out things that are irrelevant to the discussion at hand.

He is an encylopedia of knowledge in areas that his teacher said isn't normal for an 8 year old.

He LOVES the news. Watches it every morning and carries the conversation on into school. The other kids ignore him but the teacher thinks that's abnormal. He LOVES science. The solar system. He can name off planets in other systems.

He can tell you just about everything about a tornado & tell you about the one that came close to the school when he was in the 1st grade.


He loves the movie cars. He recites the movie and acts out scenes from it. Other kids get bored from his obsession with it.

Kids don't relate to him. Adults get tired of hearing him talk about the same things over and over again. I'm used to it. I'm fortunate enought that he is around 1 or 2 other kids that really like him and try to help him fit in.