Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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I haven't left my room at all for more than a full day. Since Friday afternoon, I only left it briefly to use the bathroom, when noöne else was around. I haven't showered in all this time, so I stink and my whole body is covered in sticky grease. I haven't eaten much, but still feel like I keep putting on weight. I know I should be very busy, but can't summon the willpower to do anything. I need to use the bathroom again, but am waiting for my flatmate to go to back to his room or outside. I should've tried to sleep before, when my bowels weren't so tight; now it'd be all but impossible. I won't be able to have a shower for a few more hours, and I'm sure I'll be asleep by then, basically guaranteeing I'll waste yet another day hiding in my room, getting ever filthier by the hour.

"If you could lick my heart, it would poison you"

I read that's what a holocaust survivor who had been surrounded by death and destruction once said. And after hearing about the mass shooting in Toronto a few minutes ago, that's how my hear feels right now.

I don't want to find out my brother has been killed when he goes to Toronto this summer, if he hasn't already. Mom said she hasn't heard from him since his birthday on July 3rd. And I haven't heard from him in months.

I woke up at 7:40 AM

The feeling that I was deserted alone in a cis-gender world where nothing is changing. I had a nice time at the hospital. When the nurses asked if I had any concerns, I could tell them exactly what was on my mind. Things seem to be looking up since I saw the LGBTQ friendly police sticker on the door of the community center/library.

Best way to spend the day tbh.

I've dreamt of my ex best friend who stopped contacting me years ago and her mom who guilt tripped me when i did the same thing. People are so hypocritical but i don't even have the energy to get angry anymore. I just regret so much. I regret that %90 of my childhood was wasted on someone like that. I wish i can erase my memories sometimes.

A toe nail almost breaking off

Waking up in a panic.

Some of the s**t's hit one of the fans. I've heard my flatmates (the other tenant and the landlady) talking about my insane behavior. They've noticed I often opened and closed my window blind as they walked farther and closer, respectively. I'm not sure they're aware of the reason: I need to renew the air in my room from time to time, but don't want to be arrested for indecent exposure.

After the landlady left and the other tenant seemed to retreat to his room for a while, I went to the bathroom and had a shower. I thought I'd begin to do some cleaning, to wash my clothes and to tidy up my stuff, and try to act natural if they showed up, but was overcome by a heavy sleepiness as soon as I walked back into my room. So I slept for a few more hours.

I woke up. The air's taken on the pungent smell of oxidized, vinegar-like sweat, and it doesn't go away no matter how long I keep breathing it. The three narrow slits I left at the top of the blind are clearly not enough ventilation. I wonder whether I'd ever wake up if I let myself fall asleep again. I'm still sleepy indeed. I need to open the blind, but I find it embarrassing after the comments I heard, and without having met them face to face yet since.

The humidex levels are going to rise to the point that they're dangerous this week, and it's going to go on for what feels like forever.

Know why I hate summer? THIS is why I hate summer. The heat and humidity fry human's brain cells and clouds their minds, and then they go do stupid things. Or more stupid than usual.

The family dog tried sneaking into the garbage this morning.

I just managed to spill at least 2 liters of milk in the fridge and onto the kitchen floor. Things just keep getting better and better! Yay!! Please kill me.

That's because this weekend I discovered a severe leak in the plastic 4 liter milk container, and when I couldn't fix it with duct tape, I poured it into a pitcher I have, but it only held maybe half of the milk, so I poured the rest into a plastic food storage container. Today when I picked up the container, the lid came loose and all the milk gushed out. And they say you shouldn't cry over spilled milk.

I soaked most of it up with a towel, and then I put the towel in the washer along with some clothes and stuff so it won't stink up the place. Then I mopped the floor. It is a very hot, humid day so even mopping is sweaty work.

hot.

A few minutes ago, a dog barked like mad. Probably a hot dog.

A few hours ago, a man barked like mad, with about a gendered slur every other word.

my friend sent me a gift with poppy seeds and it got stuck at the customs :/ probably i won't get it because i think poppy seeds are illegal

I know poppy seeds are illegal in Singapore.

In the US, we eat poppy seed bagels all the time.

Why are they illegal? Just for the fun of illegalizing something?