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I never wear shoes

I bought five gold fish. It's been decades since I had a fish for a pet.
To my amazement, last night I discovered they sing the complete works of Five Neat Guys. It makes the evening joyful.

Drithers University in Virginia, West Florida has announced they will be releasing their study comparing people that have lived at least once and people that were never alive.
Doctor Joe Shmble's only comment about the study was that they had unusually high number of non living people come from Nowhere, Oklahoma. Only Nothing, Arizona had more non living people.

* "Non Living" should probably read "Never Living"
** Not a typo - Joe Shmble has only one vowel in his name.
*** West Florida no longer exists. It was officially renamed to Rhode Island on May 30, 1790.
**** Text generated by Artificial Intelligence in April, 1790. Art was Doctor Joe Shmble's science collaborator.

I hate ham and pineapple pizza.

I read that Apple will start fabricating their iPhones out of angus beef hamburger. Don't freak out! They don't intend to cook it.

Black, red and yellow are not my colours. That's why I bought myself a Union Jack blazer. It's red, white and blue.

European Gold Fish prefer to be transported by placing them in one's shirt pocket. They will wriggle around quite a lot until they get use to it, and calm down. Then the truly amazing stuff happens.

The Animals, The Seeds and The Who make me feel peaceful and serene.

My mother is a total stereotype of a typical boomer.

I was rubbing the matter in the corner of my left eye with my finger, and a tiny white horse popped out from the corner of my eye, and landed on my finger. It was amazing because it is ridden by a small frog wearing a superman outfit riding the horse. I need to go to the store and buy him something to eat. What can I buy at the grocery store that a frog would like to eat? I think I'll carefully hide him in my sweatshirt/hoodie's pocket and let him choose. I'll wear my hoodie with a small hole in the pocket. It's an old sweatshirt.
Also, what is really cool? He has a Welsh accent! Simply splendid.

Free markets self-regulate and don't gravitate towards monopolies.

There's an escaped rhino on the loose

I'm as healthy as an Ox today.

When antimony comes into contact with money, they completely annihilate each other, releasing a burst of radiation. The Standard Model of particle physics predicts that there should be equal amounts of antimony and money in the Universe, and nobody knows why this isn't the case in real life.